zaniara
MyPTSD Pro
Hi.
I've been in remission with PTSD (if you can call it that?); and I'm not having flashbacks, very little anxiety, I'm sleeping well (if I manage to go to bed, that is!) , I'm not having nightmares and I don't dissociate. So that is really good, and I'm happy about that. Even though I know my complex PTSD is not "gone"; I CAN be triggered, but it happens very seldom these days; and I'm on top of all of that; dealing with those moments very well.
BUT.. I've had a lot of problems with concentration (I know it can be a symptom of PTSD), some executive functions, impulsivity and I can't read books much; I struggle in school with both concentration, sitting still and reading. I can only listen to books; if I do something at the same time; and I'm always (ALWAYS) far behind in schedule. I lose things, I struggle hard to not miss appointments and stuff. And I've been thinking it looks a lot like ADHD. But then I always thought that it was connected to my PTSD and possibly some brain damage from the severe abuse in childhood. And that it wasn't important to sort out. Only try to deal with. I also thought I knew pretty well what ADHD was. (But reading more about ADHD makes me realize I didn't know that much about it; nor much about how the brain with ADHD functions.)
But since I was sick in what probably was covid-19 this spring I finally got on top of my food-disorder/overeating and overall bad eating-habits: since I was desperate to get well. I'm planning on sticking to these healthy eating-habit now for life. BUT: then I've noticed I'm really hyperactive all of the time. ALL of the time. I can't sit still, or rest, or wind down, unless I'm sleeping or get stuck in surfing the web/in the smartphone. It's really bad, and I'm not coping really well with it. And I remember that I've been like this my whole life; only I think I masked it by overeating, using substances or wasn't as bothered by it when I was deep down in my depressions (since they "calmed me down"; dampened me). But now after the depressions are gone and I have healed so much from the PTSD I struggle even worse with this.
It's like being a racehorse in a starting box, but there is no race and I never get to run; and I wish so much I could direct the energy into doing good things; but I'm so scattered and "all over the place" or losing concentration or motivation 90% of the time; so it's pretty useless. I use 80% of my energy to just manage my impulses; so that I don't talk to much, or interrupt (I do anyway more than I'd like to) or move too much. And it makes me so tired. (But not calm.)
Is there someone else who have gotten both diagnosis or can relate? And have you gotten help with both or just one? I wish I could get help without needing another diagnosis, but here in Sweden you really can't. They need those letters on the paper to do anything. I don't want medication (I'm already taking a high dose of fish-oil and prime-rose-oil and want to go the natural way) : I'm only trying to figure out ways of making my life more manageable. So that I can stop being so stressed out all the time, and achieving so little.
I've been in remission with PTSD (if you can call it that?); and I'm not having flashbacks, very little anxiety, I'm sleeping well (if I manage to go to bed, that is!) , I'm not having nightmares and I don't dissociate. So that is really good, and I'm happy about that. Even though I know my complex PTSD is not "gone"; I CAN be triggered, but it happens very seldom these days; and I'm on top of all of that; dealing with those moments very well.
BUT.. I've had a lot of problems with concentration (I know it can be a symptom of PTSD), some executive functions, impulsivity and I can't read books much; I struggle in school with both concentration, sitting still and reading. I can only listen to books; if I do something at the same time; and I'm always (ALWAYS) far behind in schedule. I lose things, I struggle hard to not miss appointments and stuff. And I've been thinking it looks a lot like ADHD. But then I always thought that it was connected to my PTSD and possibly some brain damage from the severe abuse in childhood. And that it wasn't important to sort out. Only try to deal with. I also thought I knew pretty well what ADHD was. (But reading more about ADHD makes me realize I didn't know that much about it; nor much about how the brain with ADHD functions.)
But since I was sick in what probably was covid-19 this spring I finally got on top of my food-disorder/overeating and overall bad eating-habits: since I was desperate to get well. I'm planning on sticking to these healthy eating-habit now for life. BUT: then I've noticed I'm really hyperactive all of the time. ALL of the time. I can't sit still, or rest, or wind down, unless I'm sleeping or get stuck in surfing the web/in the smartphone. It's really bad, and I'm not coping really well with it. And I remember that I've been like this my whole life; only I think I masked it by overeating, using substances or wasn't as bothered by it when I was deep down in my depressions (since they "calmed me down"; dampened me). But now after the depressions are gone and I have healed so much from the PTSD I struggle even worse with this.
It's like being a racehorse in a starting box, but there is no race and I never get to run; and I wish so much I could direct the energy into doing good things; but I'm so scattered and "all over the place" or losing concentration or motivation 90% of the time; so it's pretty useless. I use 80% of my energy to just manage my impulses; so that I don't talk to much, or interrupt (I do anyway more than I'd like to) or move too much. And it makes me so tired. (But not calm.)
Is there someone else who have gotten both diagnosis or can relate? And have you gotten help with both or just one? I wish I could get help without needing another diagnosis, but here in Sweden you really can't. They need those letters on the paper to do anything. I don't want medication (I'm already taking a high dose of fish-oil and prime-rose-oil and want to go the natural way) : I'm only trying to figure out ways of making my life more manageable. So that I can stop being so stressed out all the time, and achieving so little.