PTSD And Family

[blarneystone]

Recently, I've been having extreme abouts of escapism. All I want to do is get away from my wonderful family, whose done nothing but worry and help me. I have two kids and their mother, we're currently not "Together" in that sense because I couldn't handle the relationship (She has her own issues, which are not mine to speak of that have made my PTSD/CPTSD much worse on multiple occasions)

I know there have to be other people who feel this desire to pull away and run away, I haven't given into these feelings because my own father abandoned me. I wish I could say there were more noble reasons I haven't packed my bags and fled, but there aren't.

How do we fix this? How have others fixed this? Have others fixed this, or is this just apart of the over-all cycle and won't feel any better until I rewire my brain? Whats causing it in the first place?

Ugh. I'm just trying to see if anyone else has any advice to weathering the storm.

 

[FightingLily]

Hi blarneystone,
I too have had extreme bouts of escapism over the years. There are times I've actually packed my bags to leave, hell, I've even packed the whole house (a couple of times)... not necessarily to leave the kids, but (at the time- I felt) a very unsupportive uncaring partner, playing a role in life I didn't want, and bs I didn't want to deal with on top of my own issues. I felt trapped. Like everyone around me was holding me back from being better or just had driving me crazy on their daily agenda. I wanted to be someone else- anybody else. These feelings of wanting to escape would last for days, weeks even. Whenever my brain told me anything was wrong, the flight response would kick in. Then when life calmed down and normalcy returned- my feelings of jumping ship would simmer down too. It occasionally resurfaces during times of high stress. Well, that's what its like for me. I'm no expert- but I can share what has worked for me in creating some balance--

IMHO managing stress is a priority- which means exercise, creating a realistic schedule, and mentally checking one's self:

Whenever I felt like running away- instead of verbalizing the thought to my family as I had so many times before- I'd simply put on my running shoes and go as far as I could. Whenever I felt like fighting/arguing -- I'd go hit the punching bag until I was tired. The endorphins did wonders in giving me clarity and I was always calmer afterwards. Daily exercise also helped to regulate my sleep patterns and winded me down when I had a hard time sleeping.

Make a realistic schedule that is also flexible--- having a busy and strict schedule without room for error--- not good. Schedule a time to wake up, schedule a time to go to sleep and make time for yourself-- even if its just 20 minutes. Everything in between should have some flexibility as to not aggravate or intensify stress levels..... I have 1 rule- when I walk into the house- no one is allowed to speak to me for at least 30 mins- that way I can have a few minutes to refocus and not be greeted with chaos.

Check yourself- questioning my own logic of thought has been helpful in my rewiring. Writing things down and reading them later has helped me to get a better understanding of myself.

I believe it is part of the cycle- so do the work- read as much as you can- it takes time and effort. Good luck to you and yours.