Ptsd poetry anyone?

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Trying with poems
About this feels and that feels
Is like herding cats. :facepalm:

Got a few poems;
They all feature rock and wheels
The other grenades.

... writing b/c after a year of none I just won a bet.

Did you win some money? I'd have lost a bet for $$$$$! Feelings like Herding cats, huh? I don't even have a creative response for that one. ? Keep trying??
 

4yrssnowflakes

MyPTSD Pro
I started off as only a seed that slowly grew.
A seed that grew from tiny, soaking up the sun, the rain.
I am but a tree, that almost didn't make it at the beginning.

I started from pushing up slowly from the earth, very humbly.
I was fighting the wind, almost not surviving.
And yet I continued as the seasons slowly changed.

My experience was painful, for I was alone without love and attention.
But there was growth and change, that hurt as I matured.
I would blosson in the spring, with no one to care for me, alone.

How my soul yearned for love, for total acceptance of myself.
Was I ugly, did I look right, no one gave me any instructions
On how to live, how to feel and adapt, my cries at night the only thing keeping me company.

Sometimes the wind battered me until my twigs almost snapped off.
My tears were alone along with my lone heartbeat.
My prayers for help and a miracle fell upon deaf ears.

Sapling grew to full size, an unimportant life except for myself.
Not one human ever looked upon me.
I did not know I had worth, my loneliness was my only friend.

Each day I longed to be noticed, for acknowledgement of my existence,
Only to be met with maddening silence.
The elements were the only thing to be counted upon, nothing else.

I grew used to myself, unsure of what to feel, other than the usual pain of being alone and lonely.
The tears cried left grooves on the bark.
My heart was forever broken, never to know of the reality of anything better.

Everyday of my life was spent waiting and still nothing changed.
All of my beautiful leaves had fallen,
And one morning I was no more, unnoticed, tilted, broken.
 

NatBird

MyPTSD Pro
I delete the words
I want to say something clever
I'm trying to control the weather
It's hard to let go of the fear

I want to say something clever
something that will make you listen
It's hard to let go of the fear
They will ignore what they read, hear

something that will make you listen
makes another disappear while still there
ignore what they read, hear
when all I wanted was to draw you near

another disappears while still there
I'm left thinking I don't make sense
when all I wanted was to draw you near
these words to become a bridge

I'm left thinking I don't make sense
I'm left doubting my perecption
the words become a bridge
to a hell made of tapes I rewind and play

I'm left doubting my perception
thinking it was wrong to speak out
a hell made of tapes I rewind and play
it is fuelled with self blame

thinking it was wrong to speak out
I shouldn't have said it that way
it's all fuelled with self blame
The truth is, the courage to speak is a gift

I shouldn't have said it that way
I change to - they could not receive it
The truth is, the courage to speak is a gift
I will try not to waste it

They could not receive it
I delete the words
I will try not to waste them
It's hard to let go of the fear
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
I started off as only a seed that slowly grew.
A seed that grew from tiny, soaking up the sun, the rain.
I am but a tree, that almost didn't make it at the beginning.

I started from pushing up slowly from the earth, very humbly.
I was fighting the wind, almost not surviving.
And yet I continued as the seasons slowly changed.

My experience was painful, for I was alone without love and attention.
But there was growth and change, that hurt as I matured.
I would blosson in the spring, with no one to care for me, alone.

How my soul yearned for love, for total acceptance of myself.
Was I ugly, did I look right, no one gave me any instructions
On how to live, how to feel and adapt, my cries at night the only thing keeping me company.

Sometimes the wind battered me until my twigs almost snapped off.
My tears were alone along with my lone heartbeat.
My prayers for help and a miracle fell upon deaf ears.

Sapling grew to full size, an unimportant life except for myself.
Not one human ever looked upon me.
I did not know I had worth, my loneliness was my only friend.

Each day I longed to be noticed, for acknowledgement of my existence,
Only to be met with maddening silence.
The elements were the only thing to be counted upon, nothing else.

I grew used to myself, unsure of what to feel, other than the usual pain of being alone and lonely.
The tears cried left grooves on the bark.
My heart was forever broken, never to know of the reality of anything better.

Everyday of my life was spent waiting and still nothing changed.
All of my beautiful leaves had fallen,
And one morning I was no more, unnoticed, tilted, broken.

This is amazing poetry from the heart. I can really feel your struggle, lonliness, and pain. It is hard to feel invisible....What might you title it?
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
We were both adopted, real sister and brother,
Bro was the clearly favored one by my mother.
She was left alone, my father went away
Without boundaries, he was destined to betray.

It started out he just taunted and teased,
and his goal, was to get his satisfactions pleased,
"Come into my New Club House" you're my first member,
Don't tell anyone, not anyone, and make sure you remember!"

"And don't tell Mom, or Pop, what's happened out here,
Cause they'll believe me over you, and you'll disappear,
They'll send you away... believe me... cause they love me more,
And then you won't be their sweet little girl no more."

My brother, my brother he was destined to stray,
When he was eighteen, got a bike, and rode far away,
I was free, and safer, and my father's anger he drew,
Pop was done, with his wild ways, yes that man was through.

But I was just one of many, lured into a bed,
I was warned, stay away, he's a gang banger they said.
What's a gang banger, I asked....and a surprise answer revealed,
I never went looking, I stop asking, and this secret was sealed.
 
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