Quitting- Right Decision?

[PinkLady]

I'm in a position right now where unemployment would make things really tight, but I could survive. I wouldn't want to remain unemployed for long... I don't want to ever have to say "no" to my little girl for financial reasons (not that I spoil her, but I don't want her to go without).

I hate my job, not so much the job itself or my current co-workers (actually like them, they are good people, and they work hard), but the company that I work for- I hate it! I was in a car accident caused by a supervisor at my job, around the corner from my work, and waited in the break room for a ride to the hospital when I was injured and in shock. I also feel that upper management has 'sided' with her. I have to drag myself to work, I don't care about it at all (do nothing "above and beyond" but I was an exceptional employee before), I do the bare minimum or coast through it... I was transferred when I returned from my medical leave to a new location and I have zero interest in making friends at the new location, when I am there, I am counting down until I can go home.

My occupational therapist feels I should keep at it, that quitting is not the way to go, unless I can find a new job first. She said it's avoidance. I'm trying very hard, been back 2 months and taken 1 sick day (sore from injury that I was on leave for). I agree, the ideal would be getting a new job and leaving after I start somewhere else... but it's hard, I am still recovering from physical injuries that have me on light duties and reduced hours. I'm also attending 2 physiotherapy appointments per week, occupational therapy and I am starting CBT. I also have fracture clinic at least once in the next month, etc.

I'm just tired and sick of doing stuff I hate/that's unpleasant. Work is one of those things and I feel like quitting is the best course of action, I'm not strong enough to continue there. There are so many reminders and I feel like I was betrayed, I have a lot of resentment for the company (that won't magically disappear if I quit, but I at least won't have to deal with it as much?)

Is quitting 'giving into avoidance' or does it seem reasonable? Is it okay to avoid in some cases? Because my OT (who's been counselling me while I wait for my CBT to get rolling) is pretty much 100% against avoidance in all forms.

 

[PTSD sufferer]

It can be avoidance. I avoid a lot of things and have to work hard to introduce them into my life. We can't avoid for ever, we need to take responsibility for our illness and face it head on. It is important for you to consider (but you don't have to agree with) the advice of your OT. Take some time to consider and don't make any rash decisions.

However, I have to ask whether, if you feel you really must leave, then can you go part-time for a while? A friend of mine was in an accident and the company gave him the flexibility to work from home 2 days a week. That made all the difference to him, particularly as he was also in a great deal of physical pain.

 

[catjudo]

It sounds like you're considering quitting the job just because you're not enjoying it and not because your injuries are in some way preventing you from being able to do your job. In that case, IMO (and you asked for our opinions), I would have to agree with your OT that it doesn't sound like a good idea to quit this job unless and until you have another job lined up.

Also, are you sure that you would actually get unemployment if you quit the job? I could be wrong as I don't have a lot of experience with such matters, but I didn't think people typically qualified for unemployment if they left their job by their own choice. I do know that when people file for unemployment, a notice gets sent to the last employer and they have an opportunity to challenge it, dispute the facts or provide information as to why you may not qualify for unemployment.

 

[PinkLady]

No, I wouldn't get unemployment. I'm back to work part time, I only do 18-20 hours per week spread over 3 shifts right now. I want to leave because I am sore after work and because I have this grudge/resentment towards my employer... I'm trying not to feel angry with them, but I am. I'm also pursuing compensation for my injury etc from the co-worker's insurance company.

I don't "have" to work as my income represents mainly entertainment/"extra" money, but I would feel bad putting my family on a budget at the same time, because I can't take care of everything on the home front right now.

I was off for 4 months initially to recover from physical injuries, I have been back for nearly 2 months and I'm still as miserable, if not more so, than the day I returned.

 

[catjudo]

I guess I was just confused because you started your post talking about how it would be tight but you could survive on unemployment.

 

[PinkLady]

Sorry, to clarify I meant unemployment as in being unemployed, not unemployment payments :)

 

[Hashi]

I'm in a toxic work situation and if I could leave and survive financially (albeit without any frills) I'd do that like a shot - but only in order to use the time for recovery. I wouldn't do it simply to remove myself from the situation.

I'm not sure I agree with your OT that if you go, it should be to go to a different job. I don't know you at all, so this is a general observation and might not apply to you, but I don't think in general that getting a different job resolves any of the internal issues that arose at the previous one.

IMO - and again, I don't know you or your situation so maybe this isn't what's going on in your case - the time when it's OK to "avoid" is when it gives you the breathing space to do some serious journalling, reflecting, therapy, whatever will help your understanding and awareness of what happened and will help you heal and move on.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It sounds like you would survive if you left. Is it a bullying situation? It sounds like it. You are doing the best you can. It sounds like you are having a really hard time working there.
\Do you feel betrayed by the company you work with?

I wonder if your life has changed forever by this situation? You have alot of anger and resentment and not able to address it with the people involved. It sounds like it has triggered you big time into core issues. I do not have the wisdom to advise you, and I know that is what you have asked for.

There are so many issues involved in this experience.

Is it a toxic work place? Do you have a hard time feeling safe in your work? Do you have any kind of good support in the place that you work? Mabe I misread. But if it is toxic, then I say get out if you would survive finacially. If it is just luxuries you would lose it may be worth it.

Only you know your own limits. It sounds like you have really tried to work there. If it is toxic get out fast. Take care of you now. It sounds really comlicated. You know in your heart what you are capable of.

You have to be able to think for yourself.

I have a quote for you,

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. You have to choose for yourself what is the best course for you to take. Let us know what you end up choosing and give us a update ok? Take care and be well. Big hugs.

 

[circe47]

I would be very careful about leaving an employer while under a worker's comp claim. I suspect this is also why you are feeling some bad vibes from them. If you leave and wish to become re-employed elsewhere, the new job may ask if you have ever filed a comp claim- the question is often on the job application. If you say yes, then kiss the prospective job goodbye. Employers HATE comp claims. It makes their insurance rates go up. Try to stick it out, and remember that good jobs are very, very hard to come by these days.

 

[PinkLady]

I'm not on worker's comp, I am back at work (2 months on Saturday) and my wages are getting topped up by the car insurance company (though I have yet to see a dime, frustrating as heck)... I don't think they are allowed to ask for that information here (I've never had it on a job application). Anyways any other lost wages would have to be pursued through my lawsuit, but it'll be a long time before I see that still.

I'm not being bullied really... the general consensus (amongst store-level management and employees) is that the person driving is an idiot & a bad person (long story about that, not wanting to be 100% honest and not visiting etc), most of my former co-workers, before I got transferred in May, feel I was treated unfairly (so doI). I am definitely holding a grudge which is making moving on difficult. I just can't get over it!! I am so angry about how I was treated. On a personal level, my employer is definitely "siding" with the other person. While I was off work, none of the management bothered to call/text/email to see how I was, nevermind a get well soon card or flowers (not expected but I did receive them from relatives, friends). It would have been a nice gesture, the franchise owner is a multimillionaire & they're all doing pretty alright... enough to pay for a phone call or dollar store card. I am so offended, still. While I was off, the other person continued to work there as per usual, complaining about "her situation" loudly and not privately at all (so I know a lot of extra details I wouldn't have, but still). Then when I was due to return to work- I got transferred to another location- away from the co-workers I had been with for years, my work friends, all familiarity.

It would nice to get an apology. I know it will never come. And I don't think it would really make me feel any better, I really think the bridge is just burned and I'm done with them.

 

[Inspired 2 B Free]

There is a lot of good advice in this thread!

I generally agree with your OT -sounds like avoidance to me as well.

You seem to vacillate a bit between whether or not you need/should work or not. This is a flag to me that it's not about the money, it's about avoiding.

My suggestion is not to leave at least until you've been able to process with your CBT. Will that be starting soon? Your OT sounds very grounded and wise, but her education and expertise is limited in this area.

 

[PinkLady]

I found out that I am having another surgery on my arm so I am going to stick with this job for now, so that while I'm off I'm able to get unemployment etc. I can decide what I want to do after my surgery, I will be taking at least 8 weeks off