Rawr!!!! Sleep Troubles

[Wolvescry]

I come on here hoping to get some support in any form, I have decided to take down some post because it seems no one really views them and they are taunting me. Just knowing it has a physical form here in cyber space can be overwhelming, so I decided to only seek support for my symptoms.

Sometimes, well maybe a lot of times, I have so much trouble sleeping. I have stayed up for two weeks straight, but never past that. When it happens I go nuts, I cant think, my mind feels like its going hay-wired, and I feel fear. I haven't exactly pin pointed the what the cause is. I suffered from nightmares since I was really young, and remembered staying up most nights in fear as a child.

As an adult, it has become harder. I tried so many things, like unisom, melatonin, exercise, and it just does not work. Now when I have trouble sleeping I get so scare it will last weeks. I know if I can only figure out what triggers the fear I can address it, but I repress it. And if my mind represses it to this extent, I know its bad.

I feel bad when my partner notices the signs and looks at me with that look of sorrow and helplessness. He wants to help and does so much to help but sometimes it can't be helped.

I guess what I figure helps the most is feeling safe. I need reassurance that I am safe, I need to believe it.

I have even thought of going into a mental hospital for a bit, because it hurts so much to be in that condition and it hurts to see it effect my loved ones. Stronger sleep meds make me sick, and I worry that I may become dependent. for years I have gone to therapy, and it has made great improvements in my management of my condition, but I worry. About my sanity, about my effects on others.

I panic sometimes, not like a panic attack, at least I don't think. And I pace and freak out, and just drive myself mad trying to figure out things. Why people do horrible things to each other, I don't understand, I don't understand. I just repeat it over and over in histarical state, but he saves me, he grabbed me and said "Maybe you're not suppose to understand, To be honest I would be more worried if you did" So simple words, yet they gave me such peace. I don't have to understand, I don't have to make sense of things. It helps so much.

But even with that I still struggle sleeping, could I be having nightmares and not remembering them, or can I feel fear of something that was caused by a trigger. I just understand. I have not heard of many PTSD survivors having such drastic sleeping problems. Does anyone out there know more info on this? Can I be suffering from other things too?

 

[gtpgurl]

I have very similar sleep issues. The only difference is, after having read you post just now, it finally clicked for me the cause of the fear triggering my extreme insomnia. I want to thank you for that.

Unfortunately I don't have any great advise. A couple things you could try that you may have already tried are: once you feel tired and able to lay in bed try tracing the outline of the united states in your mind, (I have gone on to other countries ). My therapist says to repeat the word "the" (does nothing for me though). Then there is progressive muscle relaxation, four squared breathing, mindfulness and meditation. these all work great to help me relax but still don't get me to sleep. The only thing I have found to slightly help is sleeping medications. My psychiatrist is shocked to here that what he's prescribed I am able to stay awake through. I suppose my body get to a point of extreme exhaustion and gives in to the medication and I will sleep, but never more than a couple hours at a time.

I'm sorry I don't have any happier input. At least you know that you are not the only one to suffer this way. It is truly horrible. I have admitted my self into the hospital like you said you thought about doing, but I found it even harder to try to get rest there.

I hope you get to have some much needed sleep soon.

 

[franciemarnie]

Binaural beats I downloaded off ITunes help mix up the left and right sides of the brain.

When I walk back and forth, I look at my feet so my survival brain can see I am not trapped. It can't understand rational thought so I have to show it thru the senses.

A hot shower and washing my hair helps.

Coloring helps - in coloring books or colored pencils on paper.

Throwing a tennis ball from right hand to left to right over and over also mixes up the brain if obsessional thought is striking.

But most of the time - I have an attitude of maybe I will sleep, maybe I won't - what is the most enjoyable way I can spend my time because eventually I will sleep again so I don't want to cause myself undue agony in the meantime.

 

[Wolvescry]

Thank you both so much for your advice. I am happy to help in any way and appreciate the help in return.