Ready to quit my therapist, but is that really the mature thing to do?

[Erin1523]

I’m a therapist. I have no money. Yet I have seen clients at a lower rate because they can’t afford it. My own therapist is clearly wealthy. Lives in a nice house, has multiple luxury cars in her driveway. Because I’m so strapped for cash, I applied to a scholarship fund for therapy. They’re requiring my therapist to submit invoices and they will reimburse her. She sent me a voice note that that’s too much for her and she doesn’t have the head for it. I literally can’t afford to go more than every other week at this point. All she has to do is a little extra work to help me be able to afford it. I’m so down about this. I just want to leave but is that really the mature thing to do? I’m so frustrated.

 

[somerandomguy]

It is absolutely the right thing to do to leave a therapist you can't afford. Tellingly you didn't mention that she's great or that you don't know what you'd do without her. There should be other professionals near you that you can afford who will offer the same or a better standard of care.

 

[Friday]

I just want to leave but is that really the mature thing to do? I’m so frustrated.

The immature thing to do, IMO, is to cut off your nose to spite your face…

IE Missing out on using the scholarship (so having a better standard of care) to work with a different therapist… because your current therapist doesn’t run her business the way you wish she would.

Yep, I’m guessing that the effort of finding someone talented, who also is willing to submit invoices to be reimbursed; as well as a few other issues, like starting over with someone new, also factor in. But they’re also manageable problems, as well as potentially exciting prospects. Fresh perspectives, new skills, new challenges, better fit, better access, etc. As well as the money you’d be saving, spending less to get so much more. The lynchpin issue is that your current T won’t use your scholarship, so you can have better access/care. Which IS frustrating, but also? Her choice in how she chooses to run her business.

 

[sidptitala]

That would really annoy me too.

All she has to do is a little extra work to help me be able to afford it

I think you have a right to say this to her, in a diplomatic way, if you want to keep seeing her. It probably helps that you are a therapist yourself, and would happily do this for a client.

Would you rather stay with her or look for someone else?

 

[Charbella]

I’m a therapist. I have no money. Yet I have seen clients at a lower rate because they can’t afford it. My own therapist is clearly wealthy. Lives in a nice house, has multiple luxury cars in her driveway. Because I’m so strapped for cash, I applied to a scholarship fund for therapy. They’re requiring my therapist to submit invoices and they will reimburse her. She sent me a voice note that that’s too much for her and she doesn’t have the head for it. I literally can’t afford to go more than every other week at this point. All she has to do is a little extra work to help me be able to afford it. I’m so down about this. I just want to leave but is that really the mature thing to do? I’m so frustrated.

Any chance you can do the paperwork yourself? I’d search for ways to do whatever I wanted. As in if I want to see my current therapist I’d find a way to make it work. If I didn’t really care, I’d ask the scholarship place for other therapists they know work with them.

If you like your current T then maybe see them what you can afford while also seeing someone else who takes the scholarship and can provide more frequent appointments.

 

[Movingforward10]

clients at a lower rate because they can’t afford it. My own therapist is clearly wealthy. Lives in a nice house, has multiple luxury cars in her driveway.

I wonder if you can let this view of yours go? It sounds like you are deciding how she should work/run her business based on your perception of her lifestyle.
She's allowed all these things above. She doesn't need to alter anything about her life or her business to be an effective therapist for you.

It obviously sucks if you have to change therapists because of finance. But that isn't a 'her' issue. It's for you to work out: can you afford her services? Is it benefiting you to remain with her but see her less so you can afford it? Or are you better off changing therapists to one you can afford to see more regularly?