Rebuilding alone

[Friday]

Restarting at 47. Lived a lie for years, missed so much, so angry and so alone.

27, 47, 67… even 87. Happens.

The time is going to pass no matter what. What do you want at the end of it? How can you make the next 20/40/60 years in FRONT of you, amazing? Instead of wasting them being angry at the past? (Unless you’re someone who digs wasted time/emotions). Shall the next 20 years be spent in fury & regret at the last 20, or amazing & badass in the coming 20?

 

[Metropolitan Nomad]

27, 47, 67… even 87. Happens.

The time is going to pass no matter what. What do you want at the end of it? How can you make the next 20/40/60 years in FRONT of you, amazing? Instead of wasting them being angry at the past? (Unless you’re someone who digs wasted time/emotions). Shall the next 20 years be spent in fury & regret at the last 20, or amazing & badass in the coming 20?

Oh I'd love that. It's baby steps right now. Had a good day at work and (hopefully) and good night's sleep.

 

[PamelaS]

Oh I'd love that. It's baby steps right now. Had a good day at work and (hopefully) and good night's sleep.

That is all any of us can do, one little baby step at a time until we stop tottering and actually make it the whole way across the room without falling down. We are all here together to help and encourage one another to do exactly what Friday said, to make the next 20/40/60 years the best years of our life. That sounds wonderful to me and I’m in! How about you?

 

[Metropolitan Nomad]

That is all any of us can do, one little baby step at a time until we stop tottering and actually make it the whole way across the room without falling down. We are all here together to help and encourage one another to do exactly what Friday said, to make the next 20/40/60 years the best years of our life. That sounds wonderful to me and I’m in! How about you?

Agree. I would love to light the sky and my llfe with a blinding light and cleansing fire. To pull a huge stunt, a massive achievement that would open a way to better times.

 

[PamelaS]

Agree. I would love to light the sky and my llfe with a blinding light and cleansing fire. To pull a huge stunt, a massive achievement that would open a way to better times.

That’s getting excited Metropolitan Nomad! But I will be hoping that that was figurative, and that no one would be harmed in your renewing experience. There’s too much of that happening these days. Let’s just stay in the bounds of safety and blow the roof off! (figuratively)

 

[Metropolitan Nomad]

That’s getting excited Metropolitan Nomad! But I will be hoping that that was figurative, and that no one would be harmed in your renewing experience. There’s too much of that happening these days. Let’s just stay in the bounds of safety and blow the roof off! (figuratively)

Yep, that was way OTT!

 

[Metropolitan Nomad]

And breathe....I've missed so much out of life and it has left me bitter. I'm now trying to catch up as it were but its so isolating.

 

[Metropolitan Nomad]

Its late at night and I feel so lonely.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

We are here.

I have found that after every major upheaval in my life, life was better in ways I could not foresee before the upheaval. So as I fall into the abyss I have confidence that the pattern will repeat yet again.

The whole idea of healing is complex. I think of it as improving at life. Just learning about how ptsd has impacted my life was a big step. I see things in myself that I would like to improve upon. Then I address that. I tend to isolate so I have been working on being more social and outgoing. For me it is like what taking skydiving lessons was like decades ago. I was hanging on the wing of the plane with an instructor on either side of me. It was time to let go so I did even though I was scared to death. But I did it. The same goes for social stuff, I just show up and do it. My most powerful tools are honesty and venerability. I show up and I am just me. I talk to strangers and ask about their lives. What I have realized is that i am not defective, I am a good person, surprisingly, people like me. How weird is that? It all seems so foreign, but my aversion to social stuff was all in my head. It is still there but with practice my confidence is building. Some of this stuff is so simple yet I could not fathom it forever. I hope this helps. There is hope, our job is to get out of the way and let our best life happen.

 

[PamelaS]

Its late at night and I feel so lonely.

Metropolitan Nomad, I agree with Lost in the Woods. We are here for you. You are not alone. And even when you can’t see us on your screen, we are still there, encouraging you to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep standing up, to keep pushing forward towards your healing. I’ve always wanted to skydive! After nearly 25 years of extreme sickness and disability, where I almost died a few times, I’m ready to try it again. I’m working on strengthening my body and my mind. We do a lot of things that don’t help our body. And we sometimes listen to the lies in our heads. But that’s a choice. We don’t have to succumb to the death in our heads. We can overcome every single thing that has happened in our life to bring us down. We will never be the same as we were before, but we can be better! We can take what we’ve been through and let it make us stronger, more compassionate to others, more kind to strangers, and share more love in this world. I believe that everything negative that happens to us or in this world can be overcome. My life is a testimony to that. I could have died many times. I could’ve allowed my mind to be lost in the mental torment. But I didn’t and I won’t. And we are all here to encourage you to do the same. Every single day try to find three things that you are thankful for that day. Just three things (you woke up, you have food to eat, you have shelter, the sun might be shining,…) Each day try to find three things that you have to be thankful for. And live your life from that position of thankfulness. Face the world, and all of your troubles from a position of being hopeful for your future. Believe that it is possible to overcome and to be stronger and more loving and kind to every single person who comes into your life, not in spite of, but BECAUSE of what you’ve been through. Allow it to soften your heart to be more compassionate to the pain that other people walk through. And be used as a vessel for healing and encouragement and love. Find purpose in your pain. Make the world a better place just by being in it. We are all here, encouraging you to keep moving forward to a better place one little step at a time, as you are able. Just take baby steps and get back up each time you get knocked down. You never know how good your life can be until you step into it and keep moving forward. Be patient and kind to yourself in the process. Celebrate every win. Notice how you get stronger each time you get back up. Look forward to your future and don’t let your past or what you’ve been through define you. Start hoping for a better future and start stepping out. When you keep doing that you’ll look back and see how strong you have become through the process and you will be able to look at others around you with compassion and kindness and bring good out of the junk in your life. =>=>=>=>❤=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>===> Hoping to hear from you as you move forward into the future that awaits you.

 

[deno]

Reading this thread hit me hard. I’ve been rebuilding too—on my own—after losing almost everything, including the people I once called family. I wasn’t just erased; I was targeted, misunderstood, and blamed. For a long time, I thought I had to figure it all out alone. I tried therapy, read everything I could, but what helped most was finally seeing the truth—that the story I lived was real, and it was never my fault.

It took me years to untangle myself from their version of me, and I still carry the scars. But I’m still rebuilding and still standing. And if you’re here, so are you. It’s not too late. The next part of your life can be something no one else gets to shape but you.

 

[deno]

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of being alone, not just feeling it but being in it. And as difficult as it can be, I’ve come to believe that being alone isn’t always a punishment… sometimes it’s a necessary part of the healing. After trauma, especially deep or long-term trauma, solitude becomes the space where we finally meet ourselves without the interference of others’ expectations, manipulations, or projections. It’s uncomfortable at first—there’s grief, silence, confusion. But in that quiet, something begins to take shape.

Being alone taught me how to trust myself. How to build confidence without needing someone else’s validation. How to feel secure without waiting for someone to make me feel safe. It gave me time to ask: What do I believe? What do I want now, not what I was taught to want?

It’s not easy—this path is raw and honest and often overlooked. But it’s where the foundation starts. Once we know ourselves in solitude, we stop looking for others to define us. And the people we do let in after that… It’s by choice, not survival. Alone isn’t the end. Sometimes it’s the beginning.