Sexual Assault Recovery

[Haven]

Hey guys! I don't get on a whole lot because I'm so busy, but I thought I would reach out. It's been a year since I left my abuser. So much has happened. My PTSD was so bad. I lost so many friends who just found what happened too difficult, or they believed my abuser. I was told by some police and others that my abuser was like Ted Bundy. I know he has killed at least one person, because I know through EMDR, I was there when he moved the body. Plus visiting the place made me shutdown completely. I also recently found out that he got married. I pray so often for that woman. I now am beginning to trust myself and believe what happened to me. I am safe. I am doing well. I go by a new name. The police told me to treat it like the witness protection program. I was told to completely disappear and so I have. At first it was hard to completely rid myself of my old me, my old name. When ever I talk to family and use my real name it is so freeing to me. I just know that whatever happens that I am me, no matter what name I go by now. I celebrate when I laugh and smile for real. I couldn't do that for so long. My life is good, and though PTSD is still a daily part of my life, it's so much better now. I dropped off the Earth, and many people have disappointed me. I'm focusing on the good, and only remembering the good times with them. I know one day hopefully they will realize and understand. For now I am making new friends, and it's wonderful. I am me again. A newer and better one.

 

[Lady McCormick]

Congratulations :)

It sounds like you've gone through a lot and accomplished a lot in a year. Maybe your next year will be even better!

 

[The Albatross]

Glad you checked in - know the deal about dropping down the rabbit hole... I did that myself for over 15 years cuz of my first husband and his not so savory associates.

 

[Haven]

Thanks guys! It's been a journey! I was a silent reader on this site for a while before I started posting, and I found it really helpful to combat all the struggles I was going through. So thanks everyone!