Rejection Junction, What's Your Function?

[Truthful_Whispers]

Has anyone ever re-entered the dating scene, either online or out in the 'real' world, only to be rejected, mainly because of your emotional issues (which you cannot help)? Even though I was told repeatedly that I was a "nice guy", and one woman even told me that I would be "the one who got away"..I got dumped--despite my very best to negotiate, and make them understand my personal boundaries and limitations. For me personally, this always happens to me for two reasons:

1: My anxiety issues. I don't deal well with large crowds and/or very loud social events. I can do many things and go many places, but those crowded and noisy scenarios can be and are triggers for me. For some reason, most Okie women seem to want to hang out solely at night clubs, loud, huge concerts, and smoke-filled karaoke bars.

2:My pets. I have cats, several of them. I love them all, each and every one of them, and would defend them with my life. They are my furbabies..my "children"..if you will, and are not negotiable. I am a package deal: I come with a complete set of four-legged furries.

(P.S. The title is a spoof on a short 1970's public service cartoon that was broadcast on Saturday mornings.)

 

[TXbandit]

I hear you loud and clear, buddy. Same thing. I got to know a guy for a few weeks, meet him once. Once I told him about my PTSD and a few other issues, I never heard back from him.

I am usually being rejected because they always want to meet really fast and I try explain that I would like to get to know them better. They can't seem to wait longer than a week and either give up or say " what's wrong with you?" I'm anxious. I'm cautions. I don't know who's on the other side of the screen! I have anxiety about meeting new people and where they want to meet especially place as you mentioned. This is how I feel about getting back into the dating scene → :banghead:

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

I hear you loud and clear, buddy. Same thing. I got to know a guy for a few weeks, meet him once, once...

It is best to be safe, even for men. One thing many women do, I have noticed, is relay information such as the guy's tag #, description, dating profile, and where they are going to one or more friends through text. I really didn't mind, as I understood and wasn't a serial killer anyway.

 

[TXbandit]

Always safe and i really don't blame them for doing that. I don't take it quite that far though. I just tell people I know where were meeting and when I'll be back.

 

[Ronin]

No I have the opposite problem. I hide up my issues, really well, which brings back old bonding patterns, most of which being toxic as eff, and I end up with a relationship that's unhealthy for quiite a long time... and because I'm a poly clutz more likely even multiple of them in the same time.

Once upon a time dating people has been a solid distraction from whatever was going on in my work life & same solid excuse to evade personal life altogether, and it's just something I'm trying to not fall back into.

Different patterns, no advice here, but wishing you good luck.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

No I have the opposite problem. I hide up my issues, really well, which brings back old bonding patterns,...

I understand. I used to try to hide things also. But, over the years, I have gotten to where I pretty much let it all hang out, and show people who I am. I guess it is all about personal acceptance--both the good and the bad--and I suppose I have finally reached that point. I have accepted myself; It is their choice whether to accept me or not.

 

[Peach]

I have 4 cats, am usually a homebody, and PTSD isn't a dealbreaker for me. There is hope for you, @Whispering_Truth ! There are women out there that won't think twice about what you called "your issues." The dating scene just really sucks....for everyone. But one day when you're not looking, you'll stumble upon someone who jives with your wants and needs and vice versa.:hug:

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

I have 4 cats, am usually a homebody, and PTSD isn't a dealbreaker for me. There is hope for you,

Feel free to send them my way. lol :) Can't find many ladies around here who are understanding.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Feel free to send them my way. lol :) Can't find many ladies around here who are understandin...

I'll pay for Fed-Ex if you can box em up for me. :p

 

[Peach]

Feel free to send them my way. lol

Forget it! They're all mine! :p

Haha! No shipping them. They would freak the fook out! Poor babies!:eek:

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Forget it! They're all mine! :p

Haha! No shipping them. They would freak the fook out! Poor babies!:eek:[...

I meant the women, not that cats. :laugh: I am up to my chin in felines already. ha ha :)

 

[MrsBeasley86]

Has anyone ever re-entered the dating scene, either online or out in the 'real' world, only to...

Conjunction junction...Whats your function! Lol. I sing that way more than I should!
I have been somewhat rejected by an ex. He knew about my issues. And for awhile, I didnt have any anxiety problems. But when I did, he wasn't there for me. He took me to my mom's and left me there. One night, I was having an attack and tried to wake him up. He got mad at me :(
Needless to say, I let him go. He only made my anxiety worse!