Relationship With My Sister...

[deborah]

I have PTSD and numerous other disorders caused by my extremely abusive childhood. I am the oldest of 3 and suffered at the hands of both my parents. My sister was the middle child and was cherished by my mother. She knows nothing of the life I went through as a child. We grew up in the same house but each had a different home. She is a successful English professor. She is eccentric in her yogi religion and does not believe in mental illness or disorders. I live in terror most days and am on several medications as well as talk therapy. I am trying to rebuild a relationship with her as I am planning to move to where she lives for my retirement.

She absolutely refuses to believe there is such a thing as PTSD or any of the things I go through and laughs at me and tells me to stop being a baby and get over it. I try to explain to her that I cannot control the nightmares, the fear of people, the fear of being touched, the fear of being outdoors, and the anxiety, and startle response, and bipolar. She lectures me, laughs (the laughing hurts so bad, and the lack of even trying to accept it is killing me inside) She laughs and humiliates me and says I am weak. I cannot get through to her. I want to have a loving and understanding relationship with her however she makes me feel like an idiot, and stupid and when I do talk to her.

I am intimidated and afraid to say anything as she makes me feel like a fool as she always corrects me and tells me to flush my meds and grow up. I am older than her and she makes me feel like a child and even worse because my parents made sure she went to school because she is so smart, but I was told I wouldn’t make it through school. How do I deal with this how do I help her to understand that I cannot make it go away when I don’t know where it comes from and I can’t control it in the first place? Has anyone here had anything similar happen to them…I love her I want to be friends and be her sister but she belittles me and makes me feel useless and refuses to understand I can’t control all these disorders she believes don’t exist. This is my first post thank you for reading it or listening.

Deborah

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

I am a bit worried that you are expecting to much from your sister. It's pretty clear to me that she wont give you what you are looking for- Expectations of your mental health and respect.

From the way you talk about her, I can't see her changing any time soon. People generally don't. I had the same kind of relationship with my father who was also abusive and would stalk me. He also thought I would never graduate high school and never thought I would get into college. I ended it, because it was not healthy.I am not saying you should, that's your choice.

Its ultimately your choice, where you want to go with this. Sounds like you have to make up your mind about what you want.

IMHO. Hope this helps you, just take what helps you and leave the rest.

Take care and peace.

 

[deborah]

Ayesha,

Thank You so much for talking to me. People have been telling me for years to let her go , and that she is NOT good for my well being. I protected her and loved her as a child and you are right! She was way to little to see then , so how could she understand now. Hope you have one of your good days as I will be giving what you said alot of thought today.
Deborah
blessings.