Reliant on therapist

[hermione]

I have been in therapy a long time with my therapist about 9 years I would say now and have known her longer as she did a day program i was in for about 2 years straight in and out of inpatient at that point and back to the day program. she is wonderful and i trust her more than anyone i feel people would think i am too reliant on her but she even said the other day people might think that but if they knew my full situation they would realize i really honestly have no one else to turn to for the really serious stuff. she also doesn't care what people think. i am not ashamed of being in therapy but i know at some point i am going to have to cut down on the amount of therapy i am doing which is 4 hours a week but its like 2 double sessions so it adds up and i might lose my social security disability and i won't have the money to keep it up even though she charges me less than all her other patients. i am no where near ready to cut down on sessions she wishes i felt ready but she is not pushing me out and a lot of new stuff has come out that has to be dealt with but she says it is ok for me to rely on her as much as i do i text her and call her after sessions its jsut professionals are sadly closer to me than friends and well my family is fake and that is a whole other story they don't want to hear my issues and it took years to trust my therapist. but i am scared to tell people sometimes how long i have been in therapy and how i realize i am a bit reliant on her but she says its ok and she is a professional and trust me she cares its not just about money for her she like has been with me through so many difficult times and pushed me through and i am doing way better like than i have in years. like she said i have grown in 6 months more than i have in 10 years i have been struggling but there is good reason for it. even my psychiatrist thinks i am dealing well despite my pretty big relapse back to my eating disorder that i never was recovered from just in sort of ehh okness and back to self harm which i had not done in quite some time. is it bad i like don't want to lessen sessions at all anytime soon big stuff has just been going on the past 6 months and i like the time i have with her i can tell her anything now that my huge secret is out. even thats why she thinks i have grown because now i can just say stuff like i was scared to before like i am angry and stuff like that things i never did before. so it is bad i have fear of having to lessen sessions if social security cuts me off. and due to my raise and more work hours it might happen but i am still not fully functional like my ptsd is awful and depression and though my eating disorder not as bad as it was still there so it is just all scary to me and i am on my moms insurance currently which is better than what i could get at work and i could lose that too i fear all of this. i know i rely a lot on my therapist but she is right people don't know fully my situation she is the one who had me move out and the one who pushed me to get a job out of retail and more towards what i went to school for i would be nowhere without her but its just scary. i fear i will screw it up too because if i lose weight again and hav eto go to treatment and end up moving back home with my parents she won't see me anymore not out of not caring she said but idk why. she wants me to focus on the life i can live now and not focus so much on the past. its just difficult idk what this is about and what i need from it just thoughts and feelings i am trying to do my best i am just in a lot of pain and she knows that its just i need her maybe too much.

 

[anthony]

is it bad i like don't want to lessen sessions at all anytime soon

Good. Bad. Not really relevant here, and not honestly the way you should be thinking about this.

You have co-dependence problems from the sound of it. Has this been dealt with in therapy? Stepping back from therapy is a requirement when you are doing well, so you can actually go and walk in life with your new skills and start putting them into action. Staying in therapy with management skills is useless... nothing is truly learnt until you don't have that to fall back on so readily and have to start solving your problems yourself.

Based on what you have said, both your therapist and psychiatrist have stated you've made exceptional gains and are much better. Doing better is not 100%. Doing better is that you can now let go of the therapy reigns to start taking control of your life again. Back to co-dependence issues which can be an issue if you can't process them correctly and within context to be independent and function within life without the need for your therapist.

Therapy is meant to get you back on your feet and being your independent self again.

 

[hermione]

I have never really been told i have co-dependence problems and i am doing ok not like great and there is a lot of new stuff being dealt with that could lead to a major set back and already has but i have made progress at the same time its confusing. I am in a lot of ways independent i just like the comfort of my therapist as a person if that makes sense she makes me feel safe and i don't have anyone else in my life like that i have friends but i can't talk to them about the things going on now and well some of my new issues relate to my family and they do not meet my emotional needs she is the only one who really does meet my emotional needs. i need someone to rely on and count on and she is all i really have and that is not without work and like still major things to deal with and major things that are sort of pending which sounds weird but there is still an open window for more things to happen.

 

[Keen]

so it is bad i have fear of having to lessen sessions if social security cuts me off. and due to my raise and more work hours it might happen but i am still not fully functional like my ptsd is awful and depression and though my eating disorder not as bad as it was still there so it is just all scary to me

It sounds like your therapist have been an amazing support and help to you, I don't think you have to feel bad about being fearful of changes causing you to have fewer sessions. Those are valid ways to feel and valid worries to have. Maybe you can address them with your therapist?
Whatever happens, you can handle it, you've shown (from what i read in your post) that you can do amazing things and keep progressing despite difficult challenges and circumstances. Your therapist has been a huge help, but you are doing the work! Good luck, and best wishes!

 

[anthony]

i just like the comfort of my therapist as a person if that makes sense she makes me feel safe and i don't have anyone else in my life like that

I understand that. I think this is best for your therapist... as they are the treating professional and will help you reduce sessions and reliance, using your strengths obtained to further your independence and be able to solve emotional aspects without another's reliance.

You seem to be doing great... so keep on doing it.

 

[hermione]

thanks everyone i am going to keep working thats all i can do it is a struggle but i have her support she will help if i have to reduce sessions she doesn't want me to worry about that for right now as i tis not happening right now she said for some things we will cross that bridge when we come to it. for now what i am doing with her works like the motivation i have anorexia to eat is so i can keep seeing her and not go inpatient it is one of the few things that works on me. she is different from most therapists and that is what works for me we have a close relationship and i value that and i think that is important too. i am working hard to keep my life together because it has been a difficult six months what she has told me is keep focusing on what to do to makemy life better now i can't change the past so i am building relationships at work even a coworker is moving in with me and like i have been at the same job almost 2 1/2 years and since last year living with my friend all steps i mean one was to get me out of my house whihc is triggering and unhealthy and with my parents who rae not good for me but it was told in the past by treatment professionals i would never do any of that i would be forced to live home forever and not work because my PTSD and eating disorder were so bad they are not amazing now i just work to keep going...

 

[anthony]

All we can do is place one foot in front of the other, and try and step forwards a little each day, bettering ourselves, bettering the lives of those who come in contact with us. We all go backwards at times, but if forward equals more, its a win and doing the right things for you.