Repressed Memories?

[blueangel371115]

Not sure if this goes here or not but I've been noticing a strange occurrence. There is a whole part of my life that is missing. The good stuff, bad stuff. All of it. Except for a few things I've retrieved through therapy. I can't really remember my childhood pre-trauma. Every time I try ( as like now) my throat closes, my ears hurt and I want to cry. This is beginning to scare me. It feels like I was never there.

 

[Gamereign555]

I had early childhood trauma and had anger management at the age of 4 as a result of it. But I have no memory of it and very little memory of anything up until about the age of 7, which is fragmented but enough to gather that I was always uncomfortable. Every now and then something will remind me to remember things, an experience from when I was 5 or so. The memory will intrude on my life and repeat itself over and over again, making sleep impossible..

 

[purple butterfly]

I too have repressed memories from childhood possibly starting preverbal. I remember very little of my childhood, it is like a closed door, except for the body memories I have when triggered e.g fear

 

[SimplyComplex]

How long have you been working in therapy? I had quite a bit of amnesia from age 21 and before (I escaped an abusive family at age 21) and have been working over a year to remember stuff. It is coming back, sometimes in bursts, sometimes in dribs and drabs. But I am getting a timeline and a real story of my life. There are times though, now, that I don't even remember my life at all. I will remember what I have said and done as far as therapy goes. But the memories of my life and the abuse actually disappear. Its dissociation I guess, but I dont know the greater details to why it happens. Now I can ride it out, knowing that it isn't accurate.

 

[Srain]

It's odd that you should mention the ears...that really is something that I struggle with, it came up clearly in my last session. I don't believe it is something to fear but rather something to watch, write about, and discuss. (Although I really get the being afraid of it!)

peace,
Rain

 

[blueangel371115]

I haven't done much therapy. Only off and on for 2 years. And not for a while. I go on here often though.