Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

[Keming]

T: How have things been?
Me: Bodies? What bodies? I didn't say anything about bodies. Hey, how have things been?

Therapist: "Do you believe you should feel like that?"
Me: "We don't use should words in CBT."
(actual transcript)
--- --- ---

(ex)T: Zen meditation isn't really mindfulness.
Me: Have you tried reading before? It's fun!
(actual transcript)

(ex)T: What are your hands feeling?
Me: Nothing, because my hands don't have the complex neural structures required to create emotions. That's what my brain is for. Which school did you graduate from again?
(actual transcript)

(ex)T: Can you hear me?
Me: Shut up. I'm doing something important.
(actual transcript)

... perhaps I'm not the most cooperative client... Hmm...

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

T (when I'm dissociating): Come back ...
Me: Come get me!

 

[Ronin]

... perhaps I'm not the most cooperative client.

Cooperation's for morons and hostages, therapy shouldn't be about either. :sneaky: You're definitely a witty one and it's appreciated.

 

[Ironlady]

I sometimes wish you could give me the answers to things that only I can find the answers to.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

^^^ This.

 

[aut555]

Look if l knew what l was thinking, l wouldn't need you, duh. How does that make me feel? WTF? Are you on a bathroom break? It's the same intense feeling of crappinest as before. Why do l need to process my emotions, can't we just send out for takeout instead?
Is this a giant mind fxxk, do you really care how l feel, or do you need something to document your workday?

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

Look if l knew what l was thinking, l wouldn't need you, duh. How does that make me feel? WTF? Are you...

Great post, and could also go into thread "Swearish rant" lol!

 

[Call-Me-Dream]

"it will go away and you can move on"

Stop telling me the PTSD will go away, I've had it for as long as I can remember and I really want it to stop, with all my heart and more, but it's never stopped.
Does it stop?

 

[Ronin]

To Therapist Buddies: .... Yo, you, I'm not done with, yet.

But I suspect it's only because you offer me a smoke, whiskey, and vodka, in this order or not, instead of asking for bloody words and 'feelings'.

Also because I know I won't hurt you, because you Taught me. You know & got most of my moves before I think them. So you're safe. So I'm safe.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

Go ahead and "fragilize" me, just don't leave me.

 

[watundah]

It must be difficult treading the line between real person and shrink. Every once in a while, you get way off from what I would call appropriate professional behavior and obtain a first rate panty wad when I call you out on your shit. My spouse thinks I trigger you.

 

[Heather]

Seriously? You want me to try dbt (again)?

Dbt is stupid, useless and a big fat waste of time.