Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

[Shattered]

I love this thread.

 

[Nighthawk]

T: I see progress
M: You not talking to me right cause if you are you and I see very diffrently

 

[jo may]

I missed my appointment as my daughter had an appointment at hospital.

T: So Joanne, why did you miss our meeting?

Me: I phoned, my daughter had an appointment.

T: Well you should have still tried to make it.

Me: Right ok I'll just unzip myself and become two people!:rolleyes:

 

[Magnus]

This is why I hate the idea of psychotherapy in general; they can rationalize anything in any way that they want. And a lot of the time those rationalizations are projections of what the therapist 'expects' and how they see and view reality; and you're essentially being told to throw out your own beliefs/views for the therapist's when that doesn't really solve your objective problems with PTSD.

Sure it might help if you have a problem with self-esteem, but such a label as self-esteem changes subjectively in definition from person to person and can't be securely relied upon as a guiding belief. It's as if you have this divide in psychoanalysis between the objective and subjective - they are philosophically intertwined and yet always seem to be at each other's throats. So where would I draw the line and decide that the pain and fear I feel is a result of my unconscious influences or the conscious beliefs I form to make decisions? What comes first, the chicken or the egg...and the therapist that tries to lean toward one or the other ends up seeming like nothing more than a silly jester.

Now add psychiatry into the mix and you've got three types of basic therapeutic philosophies:
1. The therapist that seeks to understand the negative causes that formed you the way you are and seeks to replace them with recovering causes.
2. The therapist that thinks all problems are created in the mind and that if you just understood what you were taking for granted and found ways to be happy, life would be an ethereal symphony.
3. The medical quack that believes if an animal isn't functioning up to some standard of their own, the best solution is ALWAYS to redesign that animal into a new one, aka pure biological modifications. These people have no decency and respect for those outside their standard.

Oh...but ON TOPIC I suppose...

I went to therapy twice: on the second visit I was told that "You don't want help because you don't tell me anything unless I ask." and that I should make an appointment when I was serious. I know not all therapists are idiots, but how ridiculous for that to be her professional conclusion.

I should have said "Then you must need a lot more help than I.", but it's that whole in retrospect thing - we rationalize later what we didn't really understand at the time it occurred, I suppose.

 

[jo may]

T: So Joanne, you are looking well.

Me: Well I feel like sh*t, so you must be blind.

 

[bittersweet]

This is some of the crap my 1st T would tell me. He sucked.

T: "When you have your panic attacks you gotta just go with the flow"
Me: "Not like I have much of a damn choice now do I? I'm actually paying you for this?"

T: "I know you were assaulted and it's a horrible but let's focused on why you are stressed and anxious"
Me: "Uh, what flipping planet are you on?! That's the whole damn reason I am coming to you! My dog is more qualified at healing me than you!"

T: "Have you read the articles I've given you about stress and anxiety and panic attacks?"
Me: "No, I've just been telling you I read them for the past 4 months since you gave them to me. By the way, how the hell is reading something gonna help me? If it's that easy to cure me I'm gonna go home and read everything from shampoo labels to my encyclopedias."

 

[MouseWedger]

My first appointment with a new T today...

T: Have you ever had any thoughts about harming yourself?
Me: I had a fight with my husband (in March) and told him I was going to take a bath and hopefully drown so I could catch a break, but I didn't mean it.
T: I see. (Scribble scribble) Have you had any thoughts like this recently?
Me: Nope.
T: Do you ever have any thoughts of hurting others?
Me: Nope.

All the while silently laughing inside saying, why yes. Yes I have.

 

[Nighthawk]

T:Where has this person been ?
Me: Are you talking to the pills

 

[BloomInWinter]

T.: "You're doing very well..."

Me: "You're FIRED!!!"

:P

 

[BloomInWinter]

T:Where has this person been ?
M: Are you talking to the pills

OMG I LOVE this one!

*stealing it*

 

[BloomInWinter]

T: "Your parents responses were strange..."

Me: "You mean FU#!!! Up, don't you?!"

 

[bittersweet]

T: "You make yourself out to be this disaster walking"
Me: "If I wasn't, wouldn't I not be seeing you then?"

*after scoring moderate to severe depression on a test*
T: "You're not that depressed"
Me: "No my thoughts of suicide are just a sick joke I play on myself"

T: *random social chatter during my session* ex. Did you hear about that scandal in the senators office?
Me: "I'm gonna start charging YOU for MY time you are wasting with this pointless BS. I don't give a flying fart in space about politics or anything else that isn't relative to my healing during this hour with you."