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Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

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T: Your daughter's experience with your abuser (my mother) is not the same as your experience with her. Your daughter is not able to understand where you are coming from because she didn't experience the abuse.

Me: She doesn't need to have a personal experience with Ted Bundy to understand she needs to stay the f*ck away from him.
 
She always tells me to "leave it in her draw" until next weeks session.
Meaning try not to think about it until then I guess.
In my mind I always think something jokingly perverted like.. can I leave it on the top shelf instead?
See because she is a very attractive woman.
I think it's just my private way to make light of a very cheesy statement.
I think I fear becoming a giant cheese ball myself, so these things keep me grounded.
 
After talking about why I get scared leaving the house. He asked me a lot of questions about how I feel, when do I get scared, How do I react. He listed 5 reasons, from trauma, social anxiety and negative thinking...He asked if I had an OCD qualities.

T: You are a very complex person, Ayesha.

Oh. Not sure if that's a good think to hear from your therpist.
 
I try so hard NOT to say things back to my T. or even make a face - because I know that's my mental defensiveness. I know it's just running. It doesn't hurt him if I refuse to work on making the T. room the 'land of approach' where I try to be willing to be willing to consider what he has to say....

....but OH! Sometimes I have to bite my lip to NOT respond with a purely juvenile, non-helpful...

"Really? That suggestion has actually HELPED somebody?"
 
heidi said:
I know. Sometimes these therapist seem kind of naive. Like if I could just "leave it in a draw" I probably wouldn't need counseling in the first place. Sometimes I think even therapist can't understand what they haven't experienced.
Click to expand...

This 'suggestion' feels naive looking at it from the bottom of the trauma valley, but it is part of a real strategy that does work for many, once we're open to trying it. It's called 'containment', I think....the act of mentally creating a 'container' in the therapeutic space that we can safely 'put' our distressing memories, emotions, etc. into to allow us some distance from them until we are ready to take it back out again.

It worked for me....I put many of my traumas into different 'boxes' in a mental 'trauma closet' and it helps me function between appointments. Admittedly, it took me awhile to be willing to try it, then awhile to create the visualization in my head.

But it works, now. 'Drawer' wouldn't have worked for me, either. But if 'shelf' might work for you, I strongly encourage you to consider trying it out. It's especially helpful with multiple traumas.
 
When I went in for my session, my T had a new piece of furniture in her office. When I commented on it and how really beautiful it was...:

T: "Yes, isn't it lovely? I was just browsing in the store, I saw it and it really spoke to me."

Me: "You know, there are meds that can make that stop!"
 
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