Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

[Iam]

OMG Rain...I LOVE this thread! Wish I'd seen it before. I have my T session today......It's making me think I'll actually say one of these (most could have been written by me) just to throw him LOL!

 

[nie]

I feel great. I don't think I need to come back any more. (I would love to be able to say that. I just don't see it every happening.)

 

[Iam]

My primary T is perpetually late. I drive up and my T's car is in front of the office and I know I'm the first appt.

Me: Wow, you're on time! Is there a reason for that or was it just an accident?

 

[maddog]

Wow Iam, that made me laugh, my T is one of the most non-punctual people I have ever met. The greatest therapy challenge I have is actually managing to end up in his office at the same time that he is. There are factors related to his being on-call as a workplace psych that contribute to this, but honestly, it's just him, and while it has driven me to near despair at times, I've come to accept that it's just who he is.

I think I'll try your response some day though - he'd think that was funny too.

Maddog

 

[Moony]

It's not so much what I'd like to say, but what I have said:

M: You don't give a f*ck about what I'm about to say do you?
T: Of course I do..
M: No you don't..you're paid to care. I'm just another number on your payroll. I don't like people like you. You don't understand
T: How does that make you feel?
M: ....... (I absolutely HATE that phrase) Obviously on top of the moon since I get to spend at least the next hour with you

:D I love this thread. I think what I find most amusing is that all of our T's seem to use some kind of 'standardised phrasing system' LOL

 

[The Albatross]

"A rebate check? Wow, thanks!"

 

[windwoman]

T, "What are you going to do this week to take care of yourself?"
Me, "Curl up in a fetal position under the blanket and fantasize that I have my life back."

T, "You are doing such good work and really making progress."
Me, "If I'm doing so great then why do I feel so f***ing Broken and useless?"

 

[simplekindofgirl]

This might be the best thread on the site! Honestly.

However- there isnt much that I have not actually had the guts to say to my T. Because the truth is, if I am paying them to listen, then I should have the satisfaction of answering the mundane questions with honesty by doing so as directly as possible.

But my favorite: T "How did that make you feel?"
M: "How do you think it made me feel?"
T: "No, I am asking you to tell me what you felt. These sessions are always so difficult that I often find myself becoming very frustrated with you."
M: "Dont worry, once I have frustrated you enough and you seek therapy yourself because of me then you will know exactly how I feel and I wont have to explain it to you nearly as often."

 

[CraftyCath]

Simplekindofgirl...that's a good one!

 

[KP the nut]

Wow Iam, that made me laugh, my T is one of the most non-punctual people I have ever met. I've come to accept that it's just who he is.

My T wasn't unpunctual, he would occasionally confuse dates, after one of these times I recommended he see a T about it, he laughed and said he does :D

 

[Nighthawk]

M: I am so glad I can amuse you.
T: Well it sure does make my afternoon more interesting.

M: I read my diary while traveling
T: What did you think?
Me: It's really twisted... So why do you see me?

 

[Nighthawk]

It's amazing that if you have a moment of clarity that T's behave like you are healed grrrrrrrrrrrr