Rough Couple Days

[SinkorSwim]

It has been a tough couple days. It's been so hard to be at work. My coworker who I have worked with for the past 10 years is on his death bed. He has a genetic disorder he has been fighting for the past 6 years. He is only 39 and has two boys that are 6 and 8. I haven't been able to do much work the past couple days at work. My therapist told me to take care of myself and I am not sure I am doing such a good job of it. She told me I could call her and she has available appointments everyday but I am not so sure what she could help me with right now. I feel bad sometimes for distracting myself from my emotions as I should feel sad right now but I am forcing them away. I can only seem to cry when I am alone. My husband tells me he is here for me if I need to talk but I can't seem to open up to him and it makes me more frustrated. One of my coworkers is down at the hospital right now that is 8 hours away and I feel helpless and I want to help so bad right now.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

((((((((((((((((((((@Katiesue )))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry...:(:cry:
What a very sad situation...

I think it would be very, very good if you had extra appointments with your T.

When I've experienced similar grief, I didn't think anyone could reach in and bring comfort, but they did.
I also had the tendency to grieve in private. I've even felt guilty for surviving when a better person than I was dying and leaving behind young children. I had strong internal feelings that are difficult for me to express, but include self-harming thoughts that I didn't deserve comfort, or a break in grieving.

I have been amazed with the compassion and help from Ts and certain safe people during similar distress.
I've also been amazed to learn that it's important to receive such comfort - it helps us breathe, and live, and function during times like these. You're not only given permission to live, breathe, self-care, but it is vital to do so, even if you don't feel up to it.

Talking about how you're feeling, what you're thinking, is very important in a healthy grieving process.
Being silent, in the midst of such distress, can actually harm us if we prolong the silence, and hamper the grieving/healing steps we need to take.

I'm thinking of you with an aching heart; and keeping you, your co-worker and his young sons in my prayers. May you be comforted, encouraged and strengthened during this sad time. With your accepting comfort, you not only will grieve more healthfully, but will be better able then to think of things you can do to help him, his family and your co-workers in many ways.

With my love,
Deer

 

[SinkorSwim]

Thank you deer. He passed away shortly passed 8am this morning. I called my T and left a message just telling her he passed away and she could call me back if she wanted to. Not sure if she will or not but at least I let her know.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

I'm so sorry, @Katiesue :(:cry:

That's so sad....

I'm glad you called your T.

I'm so very sorry, this is heart-breaking...
I'm sending my love and I hope comfort and healing comes amid the sorrow, grief and pain of loss...

 

[SinkorSwim]

I went to see my therapist yesterday. I am so glad I went. It really helped me and I feel a bit of relief today finally.