General Scared He's Going To End It

[kahlan]

Apologies in advance for typos and grammatical errors as my hands are shaking.

Been a rough morning culminated by a convo with N. Someone he really doesn't even know has made a jab at him calling him a liar about his military service and then told him he should "just go off himself." Its put something to the forefront of his mind that's always just creeping around under the surface to the point he's actually telling me its a good idea.

I've called his mom after his phone started going straight to voice-mail and she's going.to.go check on him, but until then I'm scared and worried. I keep trying to call and text and message him anyway I know how, hoping to engage him enough to try to.talk him down. Its an effort in.futility though.

I.just needed to get this out and I hope he answers soon. Please let him answer.

 

[amethist]

I know how scared you are at the moment, as I was in a similar position a few weeks back.

All you can do right now, is hope his mum can find him and check he is OK. Leave the phone alone while she is doing this, as you will just block it for her to get through to you.

Keep breathing as calmly as you can, so when you do get to talk to him, you wont be in a panic.

 

[Hashi]

Kahlan, I have no idea about him and can only speak for myself. If I had a serious intention to end it, I wouldn't alert someone to that and I wouldn't leave them in an alerted state by not responding to them. Those are things I would do if I wanted to try to communicate how much pain I was In, not if I wanted to stop the pain. Alerting someone would only let them take steps to prevent me, as you are doing. I would know that.

I can't imagine how awful this is for you. I hope his Mum gets there soon and can reassure you.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I am SO sorry! I think he is trying to communicate how much he is suffering. You are wonderful for being there for him.

I am angered that anyone would tell a service person to go off themselves. How un-patriotic!

I hope everything turns out for the best. Please don't give up on him.

 

[Mercy]

Keep breathing as calmly as you can, so when you do get to talk to him, you wont be in a panic.

Hi Khlan, Amethist gives good advice that has been proven many times. Please do try to keep her advice going within you. It does stave off panic so you will be able to think clearly.

Solara, please forgive me if this sounds hurtful to you. It isn't meant just for you, of course. Vets are using suicide as away out from their unbearable pain. In the fall it was 18 Vets a day. Now we are between 28 and 36 people, Vets, a day every day. The label un-patriotic IMHO doesn't fit here at all. It minimizes the impact of the great burden Vets carry. They have seen so much horror and committed some too. They are alive in body but near dead in their souls. Even though they carried out their orders at the time, They carry now the blood of friends and enemies, innocent children and women which cannot be washed off.

Khlan, thank you for sharing this difficult time with us. I will pray for you, his Mom and him for as long as it takes............

 

[mytai]

The label un-patriotic IMHO doesn't fit here at all. It minimizes the impact of the great burden Vets carry.

I believe what @Solara was actually saying was that it was un-patriotic for someone to tell a veteran that they should take their own life.

 

[kahlan]

Thank you. About an hour after all that happened he calmed down enough to vent out a little more. It just scared the absolute sh!t out of me.

I hate that all of the sh!t he has had to do just to survive while he was deployed has made him feel like he's worth nothing and hate himself so much. He's back to feeling like he's a horrible person and I know there's nothing I can do or say to help.

THIS SUCKS!

 

[digger]

'Like' that he's calmed down, not that either you or he are left to feel the way you both are.

 

[Mercy]

Thanks @mytal. I must have reacted viserally. I missed that it made Solara angry in my response. I'm sorry