Seeking Approval By Exposing My Six Year Old Abused Inner Self

[sasuva]

My psychologist has navigated me to a cycle of presenting my six year old sexually and physically abused Inner Self to seemingly stable peers and older men for approval, healing and nurturing. I want to find their understanding and allow my Inner Self to grow into it. The trouble of course is that my six year old abused self cannot listen and learn to the experience, as well the peer or experienced male I try to communicate the Inner Self to becomes uncomfortable and I preempt the rejection by finding some fault with the man and either fighting with him or running away.

Now I am accepting the six year old as the parent with my PT, letting him come out while being gentle with him and being aware of his pain and suffering while I wait patiently for his memories to rage, then dissipate, then fade. When he is allowed to cycle the emotions, he will learn. When he learns that what happened to him was terrible and unfair, but that he can heal and be an emotionally stable man, he will become a gentle man, patient and kind. I will become that man.

 

[void]

There is no six year old Self.

There is only the present Self, which happens to retain some memories of when you were six.

When you let go of the fantasy of being and controlling and protecting the six yr old Self...then and only than can you continue to heal further.

You couldn't prevent the abuse of the six yr old when you were six and you cannot go back and do it now.

Accepting this will free you.