Shall I Cut Off Ties From My Toxic Family Forever?? Please Help!!

[Survivor2Thriver]

If those people ran away from you because of your illness, doesn't that show that they weren't your friends to begin with?

It helps to know it's common for ppl to make fun of/run from what they don't understand.

 

[Wrong way]

It helps to know it's common for ppl to make fun of/run from what they don't understand.

I don't know if that knowledge makes things easier. I guess it can help with moving on. I just know it still hurts either way.

JT1, please continue to let us know what is going on. Even if you need to vent, we are here. You do not have to be alone.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

@ Jess. Once you find your peace you'll find the right friends. Don't worry about the people who don't understand. Find your voice.

Once they find out about my past they either abandon me, make fun of me or try using me.

And those people couldn't last a day in your shoes. Find your strength(S) Jess. :)

There is still a stigma in society with having a mental illness

I view it as a "supposed" disorder. PTSD is natures way of protecting us. That's not a disease!!! Its pushing us to a higher level of enlightenment. Don't fear it and roll with it.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

I just know it still hurts either way.

I find it more helpful to understand ppl fear what they don't understand. It works both ways. Don't allow yourself to be hurt for what ppl cannot understand kind of thing. There can only be a better understanding.I search for solutions....

 

[nomedic1]

Gather the people that understand you around you and get rid of the people who are toxic

 

[Stal]

Jess if these people bring you down in anyway or make you feel negative then it's okay to walk away. be around the people that make you happy.

 

[J_trustno1]

Thank you guys. I am having constant arguments at home with my mother. I am starting to notice her biased behavior towards me since I don't have a job while my brother does. She never dares to touch the tap while my brother is having shower but she has her shower while I am having my shower, resulting in loss of water in my bathroom. When I complain about her behavior she gets all violent and tries to send me to guilt trips. Then she also swears at me along with showing her relatives are right about me. I am at the position where I want to leave her and her house forever. I am just waiting to get the job and then get the hell out of here and never contact her. She can stay happy with her relatives n her son. I'm just not feeling great today. I am made to feel guilty for things that I haven't even done. I have been crying for the past 1 hr. Just not feel good!

 

[macca]

It's a tough environment to be in. I hope you can get out soon. The guilt belongs with them, not with you. Hugs to you, if that's ok.

 

[J_trustno1]

Thanks Macca :) .. Everyday seems like a prison and every moment seems like a battle. I just want to break free from this soon!

 

[Cactusgirl]

I am in the same situation.
The advice I received from my therapist was in the form of an analogy. It was thus: if for example, you were in an airplane about to go down, you would put on your own oxygen mask first before your child's. In other words, you must always help yourself first so you can be healthy and strong to help others.

Also, my definition of family has changed. I have formed a new family of new friends, and other family members who previously I had not been close to.

I remember the first time when I stood up to my family when I created a boundary and refused to plat their games. I was very proud of myself and thought they would be, too. Boy, was I wrong! My therapist explained to me their anger came because they were playing their prescribed roles, and I was not. That was an eye-opener for me.

It hurts very much, I know.

 

[J_trustno1]

@Ulli Keiper : Yes, you are very right. I was also told by therapist that I am fighting a losing battle. Btw I have come to terms with them. I've told my mother that I will never see her relatives and I will absent for all their gatherings. And if she forces me to meet them then I will leave the house and stop being in contact with her. That was my last words to her. Ever since then, she has never forced me to see them and we are trying to talk less about them at our house. I am avoiding contacts with her relatives (i.e. my abusers) and it is actually helping me. I am starting to regain some self-confidence. I am not saying that I am fully over my past or my depression but avoiding them has been the best thing I could ever do for myself. I am starting to see my self-worth and starting to appreciate the things I have achieved and where where I want to be in next few years.


Thanks Ulli Keiper for your answer and thanks to everyone on this forum for their input on my post.

 

[Cactusgirl]

Dear Jess_trustno1,
You are doing the right thing although it is painful. I still suffer as well but I need to remember that they are a major contributor as to why I have PTSD in the first place. We all need to take care of ourselves. That is a priority. You are strong. Please stay strong. I am happy and relieved to find this website. Please stay on it and utilize it as much as you can for support. Read, breathe, cry, educate yourself and laugh. And keep being you. Keep toxic people out of your life. We will be ok :)