Does every man have bouts of toxic rage, or do I just know how to pick them? This morning seriously blindsided me. I got out of work at one in the morning (in a bar), so the plan was for me to sleep in. I wake up at seven thirty to him screaming at our puppy because he had diarrhea on the freaking tile that is easy to clean and the puppy is terrified and yelping. I put on a slip, come downstairs, and then he's yelling at me to take the puppy out. I do. It's like none of this even phased me, because my shield wall is up. I take the puppy outside, comfort him a bit, man opens the door to explain, while yelling, that they had been outside for half an hour before puppy shit on the floor, then I say, "If you bring me the shampoo, I'll give him a bath." Man grumbles. Eventually brings shampoo.
After I bathe my puppy, he curls up in my lap for about an hour. This is a 20 pound puppy, already, so he's not often a lap-sitter at this stage. Clearly he was still scared. I am still remarkably unfazed.
So I'm calling it my shield wall. It's clearly a defensive strategy. It's scary. Suddenly this calm, rational version of myself comes forward and ignores all the chaos around me and gets stuff done, speaks very softly, comforts the smaller beings in my life.
He's been wanting my to close my personal account when we move and put the money in our joint account. I use a regional bank, so closing my account is going to happen, but I'm just going to open a new personal account. I've decided I'm not giving it up until he goes to counseling. This is non-negotiable. There has to be some kind of consequence to outbursts like this.
Two and a half hours later, I'm finally having my morning coffee. Here's to me.
After I bathe my puppy, he curls up in my lap for about an hour. This is a 20 pound puppy, already, so he's not often a lap-sitter at this stage. Clearly he was still scared. I am still remarkably unfazed.
So I'm calling it my shield wall. It's clearly a defensive strategy. It's scary. Suddenly this calm, rational version of myself comes forward and ignores all the chaos around me and gets stuff done, speaks very softly, comforts the smaller beings in my life.
He's been wanting my to close my personal account when we move and put the money in our joint account. I use a regional bank, so closing my account is going to happen, but I'm just going to open a new personal account. I've decided I'm not giving it up until he goes to counseling. This is non-negotiable. There has to be some kind of consequence to outbursts like this.
Two and a half hours later, I'm finally having my morning coffee. Here's to me.
