Kelsey Owens
New Here
Hi fellow PTSD sufferers. I am joining this site because I have a crippling fear of the dark.
2 years ago I found myself with a stalker. During the first incidence, that person, who is still unknown, broke into my apartment and rearranged my furniture. The stalker didn't take anything, not even my Mac laptop that was sitting on the kitchen table. I had my locks changed and reinforced immediately after that. The next episode was far worse. I woke up at night to the sound of someone fiddling with my back door trying to get in. I immediately called 911 and was informed that no officers were near my area and that they would hurry, but no promises. The person was then trying to be quiet because I have many neighbors, so then moved on to the window and was in the process of pulling off the screen when our neighbors blessed dog pushed underneath its chainlink fence to attack whoever it was. The stalker ran off, but the whole ordeal had lasted almost 10 minutes...10 minutes of knowing that help couldn't get there in time...10 minutes of knowing that I had just glass between me and whoever wanted to rape or murder me. The police eventually arrived, and apparently had no real interest in catching the perpetrator. They wouldn't do fingerprints and even missed that the window screen was partially torn off. I got a big dog within the week, and as it stands now the person is still out there somewhere, and I have NO idea who it was. Ever since then, despite my big dog and living with my husband, I am terrified of the idea of that person coming back for me- coming back to finish the job, whether it was rape or murder. In the dark now I picture that person hiding, waiting to come out and get me.
A couple of days ago I was sitting on the couch downstairs at night watching TV with my dog (my husband was upstairs sleeping) and our power suddenly went off for no reason. I was suddenly plunged (dramatic word, but it truly fits how I felt) into absolute darkness. I panicked; that sick-to-your-stomach, mental-explosion type of panic where immediately you start thinking of all of the things that could be hiding in that darkness, first and foremost that stalker. I was so scared that I ran to the door and rushed outside. It was raining and cold so I knew I couldn't just stand there outside, but the idea of re-entering that pitch black apartment to find a candle made me start to have a panic attack. I eventually ran back inside and straight to the kitchen, rushed to find a candle and lighter, and ran upstairs to the safety of our bedroom, and by the time I got there I was sobbing. I am joining this site because I am sick of being crippled by my fear due to what that BLEEP of a stalker made me go through. I also want to be around others who know what that fear feels like, and who won't tell me that I'm being irrational.
2 years ago I found myself with a stalker. During the first incidence, that person, who is still unknown, broke into my apartment and rearranged my furniture. The stalker didn't take anything, not even my Mac laptop that was sitting on the kitchen table. I had my locks changed and reinforced immediately after that. The next episode was far worse. I woke up at night to the sound of someone fiddling with my back door trying to get in. I immediately called 911 and was informed that no officers were near my area and that they would hurry, but no promises. The person was then trying to be quiet because I have many neighbors, so then moved on to the window and was in the process of pulling off the screen when our neighbors blessed dog pushed underneath its chainlink fence to attack whoever it was. The stalker ran off, but the whole ordeal had lasted almost 10 minutes...10 minutes of knowing that help couldn't get there in time...10 minutes of knowing that I had just glass between me and whoever wanted to rape or murder me. The police eventually arrived, and apparently had no real interest in catching the perpetrator. They wouldn't do fingerprints and even missed that the window screen was partially torn off. I got a big dog within the week, and as it stands now the person is still out there somewhere, and I have NO idea who it was. Ever since then, despite my big dog and living with my husband, I am terrified of the idea of that person coming back for me- coming back to finish the job, whether it was rape or murder. In the dark now I picture that person hiding, waiting to come out and get me.
A couple of days ago I was sitting on the couch downstairs at night watching TV with my dog (my husband was upstairs sleeping) and our power suddenly went off for no reason. I was suddenly plunged (dramatic word, but it truly fits how I felt) into absolute darkness. I panicked; that sick-to-your-stomach, mental-explosion type of panic where immediately you start thinking of all of the things that could be hiding in that darkness, first and foremost that stalker. I was so scared that I ran to the door and rushed outside. It was raining and cold so I knew I couldn't just stand there outside, but the idea of re-entering that pitch black apartment to find a candle made me start to have a panic attack. I eventually ran back inside and straight to the kitchen, rushed to find a candle and lighter, and ran upstairs to the safety of our bedroom, and by the time I got there I was sobbing. I am joining this site because I am sick of being crippled by my fear due to what that BLEEP of a stalker made me go through. I also want to be around others who know what that fear feels like, and who won't tell me that I'm being irrational.
