I credit someone in my life making it better

[LizAllison]

I credit someone in my life making it better to this day, my current husband Zach. He has always encouraged me so much and glad he is in my life. Met him 14 years ago and I was divorced from my 1st husband that was a dirtbag trying to make my life worse. One was my ex husband did, force me to have my GRS thinking it was his choice telling him no which he would not accept. I am a pre op MTF transsexual and it was my choice. When I met Zach 14 years, he was glad I was honest to him right away about what happened to me. It was even when I did tell him I am a pre op transsexual. Looked at me and said he sees me as a beautiful woman loving and accepting me for who I am. Plus he opened up to me about something too, said he has been curious being with a MTF transsexual and been together ever since married for 11 years now

 

[Karen]

That's a solid win, Liz—landing a partner like Zach who sees you clearly and builds you up instead of tearing you down. Fourteen years in, with 11 married, shows real stability, especially after what your ex pulled. Forcing GRS when you said no? That's straight-up trauma, a violation of your body and autonomy that no amount of current happiness fully erases. It wired in distrust, hypervigilance around control, or body shame that can sneak up even now, messing with intimacy or self-trust.

Examine if those echoes hit your daily life or sex with Zach—flashbacks during touch, avoidance of medical stuff, or snapping at perceived control? Research on coerced medical trauma, like in CPT or EMDR protocols, shows it distorts your core beliefs about safety and choice. Blunt fact: crediting Zach fully risks bypassing accountability for unpacking that old wound yourself. Action step: Track one trigger weekly—what sets off the ex's shadow?—then counter it with a deliberate choice, like affirming your body's yours now, out loud daily. Builds neural pathways for ownership.

If it flares in your marriage, name it directly to Zach without dumping: "This old crap surfaces sometimes; here's what helps." Keeps the good momentum without denial. What's one spot where the past still pokes through for you?