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Sexual Assault still feeling unsafe even miles away from abuser



i was SA'd at 15 by this guy whom my mother thinks is a great father figure. he's technically a stepfather since I was 7. i dont want to refer to this person as "my stepfather" . tht is how i dont wnt to associate with him. but if i do that, that would mean disassociation from my other family members. No one knew until this day, not even my husband.

It has always been my dream to get out of the house. i suffered until I got the courage to leave and got married at 27 (1yr ago from this writing). I live in a different country now as a student (not a permanent resident yet) with my husband.

even if im miles away from that guy, i still feel unsafe. we have a family grp chat where we're technically still connected, i still talk to my mom, i still video call them every now and then.

but every single day of my life i get flashbacks from those incidents when i was 15. all the control and manipulation , threats... idk how to heal from this and its affecting my daily life
Mine wasn't family but a relative. He's the one who is miles away but some of my family doesn't know and I'm terrified he'll show up. I can't relax and had panic attacks just because I couldn’t stop thinking about him showing up.
All this to say; you're not alone. I don't really have any advice though 😅