Other Strong Feelings Of Being Trapped - Accommodation Choices Overseas As Student

[Roslie22]

Hi there everyone.

I'm kind of going in an endless circle and I was wondering if anyone had any advice or personal experience in how I could deal with this.

Basically, recently my dream came true to participate in student exchange to somewhere, where I want to emigrate to in the future.

We were randomly allocated accommodations (dorms), and I was placed in one which from a while back I said to myself after investigating it, that I didnt want to be in. I have a bad feeling, .
The inside of the room and mini sink/wardrobe area looks a bit like a prison, and its kind of far and out of the way/remote for my liking (I've been stalked before so I dont like the sound of that at all) I've heard mixed reviews including a girl saying also that she wouldnt want to be in that particular location (more greenery less people esp at night)

I've done shorter term courses before overseas, and I unfortunately had some issues with some girls in my first accommodation, where they locked themselves out by accident, got a locksmith that cost like US$ 200 equivalent, then tried to get us to pay for it. It went downhill from there. So after moving, with some lovely girls, but a crazy apartment owner (who had a very simialr personality to the person who severely abused me), I moved again in a day, took my stuff and left the keys and never felt freer, where then everything was perfect.

Due to these past experiences, of course enhanced with me having PTSD already. I am now stuck. I have pleaded with the student organisation over the last 4 weeks to move me (and explained why), but it was a random allocation and I have no choice as other dorms are full. :(:(

Ive got 20 days to try to find a private accommodation before my dorm room contract kicks in. but by choosing private, I risk not not knowing how its like to live in an apartment with a few randoms so close by, and having less opportunity to make more friends as its not a dorm.

Whenever I see pictures of the dorm, I feel dread, like theres no way out and im bound to suffer. It sounds ridiculous but I feel like i've been trapped into some vortex of unwanted emotion, and that im somehow associating past negative experiences to this accommodation.

Any help on this at all would be greatly appreciated. :(:(

 

[Dannyuk78]

look around where you are at the moment, take in the smells and the colours and then close your eyes and think about what makes where you are feel like home.

try and place those objects etc in the picture and see if it changes how you feel about it then.

I hope it all works out

 

[Friday]

Hating where you live, but friends nearby ...vs... Liking where you live but friends at a distance.

Since you've done this before, and tried both options, and felt terrible with the first but happy/free with choosing the option to like where you live? It seems like that one is the solid choice.

 

[Roslie22]

look around where you are at the moment, take in the smells and the colours and then close your eyes...

Hi there Danny and Friday.

Thank you for your advice

I usually associate home with location and nice scents. As I recently found out I don't really have a choice as private accommodation is difficult to find. I will have to accept this, maybe I can try to personalise the room. Smell is a big thing for me.

I've also come to realise that I'm bitter and angry that I worked very hard to get there, and was placed a lot further than other people who didn't have to struggle like I did. ( I know some of them) . Brings up the theme in my life of not feeling equal or that I've got bad luck
So as petty as it may sound, there seems to be history attached to it... I'll get over it

Thankyou again