Three years ago I crashed hard, and since then I'm not working anymore. My stress tolerance is about zero (I am familiar with the ptsd cup theory). What I'm struggling with, besides 'obvious' traumarelated issues as flashbacks, dissociation and physical symptoms, is basic dayly tasks.
I'm talking about eating, brushing my teeth, showering, taking meds... the most basic self care. I have a housecleaner because I couldn't do that anymore either. When someone I love really needs something (my husband or cats, basically), I always take care of it. I get extra tired after that, but I manage.
I have been working at this for the past three years, and I can't seem to get back in some basic routine, it's like I completely lost my autopilot. Doing extra things for my recovery like walking or mindfullness seems like an impossible task when lunchtime has passed and I havent eaten or gotten dressed. So I am AGAIN getting admitted for clinical treatment to get 'the basics' in order, because trauma treatment is nearly impossible and a crisis is lurking around every goddamn corner.
Now my question: Is this relatable? Why does it feel so impossible to care for myself? I don't think I have a negative self image, I don't think that I'm not worth it, but it seems the most logical explanation. I just can't get myself to do stuff.
Does anyone have an explanation for this, and point my in the right direction to get one step further? After three years I'm starting to feel pretty hopeless.
I'm talking about eating, brushing my teeth, showering, taking meds... the most basic self care. I have a housecleaner because I couldn't do that anymore either. When someone I love really needs something (my husband or cats, basically), I always take care of it. I get extra tired after that, but I manage.
I have been working at this for the past three years, and I can't seem to get back in some basic routine, it's like I completely lost my autopilot. Doing extra things for my recovery like walking or mindfullness seems like an impossible task when lunchtime has passed and I havent eaten or gotten dressed. So I am AGAIN getting admitted for clinical treatment to get 'the basics' in order, because trauma treatment is nearly impossible and a crisis is lurking around every goddamn corner.
Now my question: Is this relatable? Why does it feel so impossible to care for myself? I don't think I have a negative self image, I don't think that I'm not worth it, but it seems the most logical explanation. I just can't get myself to do stuff.
Does anyone have an explanation for this, and point my in the right direction to get one step further? After three years I'm starting to feel pretty hopeless.