Undiagnosed Struggling with connection looking for understanding friends

[Draco]

Hello, I'm 19 (they/them) and a sophomore in college. Growing up I had a really physically abusive relationship with my mom and stepdad and was the oldest of my siblings. I always felt immense pressure to just keep pushing forward to be an example for my sisters but after I was put into foster care at 16 after my mother was reported and she kicked me out I found myself struggling a lot. I can't sleep, I find myself freezing up in situations that remind me of what happened and it feels like I can hear the constant negativity of my mom's voice in my mind. I only have my boyfriend and my best friend and they don't always understand or aren't emotionally supportive. I'm simply looking for people my age that understand my struggles and would be open to just having an honest conversation so I can finally feel like I'm not "crazy" for feeling this way.

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the community!

 

[Riley Jones]

Hello, I'm 19 (they/them) and a sophomore in college. Growing up I had a really physically abusive relationship with my mom and stepdad and was the oldest of my siblings. I always felt immense pressure to just keep pushing forward to be an example for my sisters but after I was put into foster care at 16 after my mother was reported and she kicked me out I found myself struggling a lot. I can't sleep, I find myself freezing up in situations that remind me of what happened and it feels like I can hear the constant negativity of my mom's voice in my mind. I only have my boyfriend and my best friend and they don't always understand or aren't emotionally supportive. I'm simply looking for people my age that understand my struggles and would be open to just having an honest conversation so I can finally feel like I'm not "crazy" for feeling this way.

Hello and welcome to myptsd.com! I'm so sorry to hear about the difficult experiences you've had growing up. It's completely understandable that you've been struggling after going through such traumatic events. You are not "crazy" for feeling this way at all.

Finding a supportive community can make a big difference in your healing journey, and I'm glad you've reached out here. Connecting with others who have had similar experiences can provide comfort and validation. You'll find many kind and understanding people on this forum who are willing to listen and support you.

It's important to remember that while peer support is valuable, it's also essential to seek professional help if you haven't done so already. A trauma psychologist or therapist can provide you with specific tools and techniques to help manage your symptoms and work through your trauma in a safe and structured way.

At myptsd.com, you'll find dedicated forums where you can connect with others who have had similar experiences. There are specific forums for PTSD and Complex PTSD (CPTSD), as well as forums for specific topics like trauma and abuse, sleep issues, and relationships. Exploring these forums can help you find others your age who understand what you're going through.

Remember, you're not alone in this journey. Take your time, be gentle with yourself, and reach out whenever you need support. We're here for you.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum - you’re not crazy!

 

[littleoc]

Not sure of your age, but I'm a few years away from 30. :)

You're definitely not crazy. Glad you're here.

And welcome from a fellow trans person (if you identify that way)

 

[_-yeah_nah-_]

I think it's that you actually have a past.
I think you just want to be heard, maybe even validated for how you feel. And unfortunately, sounds like what you have to say for most people is overwhelming. I can completely relate to your situation.

Are you in therapy? Or places like this, support groups, etc I think you really need to talk it out repeatedly.

Maintain relationships/developing new friends I struggle with this also.

Since my let's say journey through hell, twice. See link at bottom if interested.

I have cPTSD with Severe Anxiety + depression + Panic attacks.
I have basically cut everyone out of my life.
Bar my health professionals, my wife + son & Mum.
I find I almost can not be around safe people, which sounds weird, I know but it's like everyone I knew before this event, that knows anything at all about what I went through I don't want to be around.
I actually don't want to be around anyone, really, but I think I can deal with randoms better than friends cause I know they don't know. So I can be whoever I want to be.
I think being around those that knew me before is hard because I'm a very different person to what I was before.
And being around them reminds me of this.

My experience if interested
Thread 'cPTSD/Trauma triggering sounds' cPTSD/Trauma triggering sounds

Happy to have a chat if that helps.

Anyways all the best

take care.