I forgot to mention that for me at least, (if your T is using the hand buzzers), the intensity of the vibration makes a huge difference. I have to have it on the strongest vibration as it helps keep me (somewhat) from dissociating. Also, when working with positive reinforcements, as I mentioned, the length between the vibrations is really long, and we do a lot of passes. At the time we were trying to work on the traumatic memory, he had me imagine my present self "sitting next to" my past traumatized self in a compassionate way. Kind of like you would sit next to someone who has experienced a shock. Then he made the number of passes REALLY few (like 4-6) so I didn't have to stay with it too long. And he ALWAYS stopped to let me get re-grounded/oriented if it seemed like I was getting activated. As someone else mentioned, it's a bit like playing a video. In fact, my T has me look at things on a very small "computer screen" I imagine in front of me. I can say stop at any time, or he can stop things (like hitting pause) depending on what he's observing in me. If things got too fraught, he'd "close" the "computer screen," and we'd be done for the session.
Also, for those of you who are getting overwhelmed or too blended up with your past traumatized part, before doing EMDR it is very helpful to break down the traumatic memory into small pieces you can work with one at a time--they don't necessarily have to be in sequential order...you can start with the least traumatic bits then move on, or you can just do it in sequence. This activity in itself is enormously helpful even without doing the EMDR. I had a hard time just imagining my small self in the room with the person who hurt me, so we started there. Had some success over a period of a month or two, but when it got to the worst part (seeing my hurter's eyes), I was unable to continue, so basically the thing is still unresolved. It takes HUGE patience with yourself. I've spent a year working just on how to "be with" the younger version of myself without switching or getting too activated. I have a pretty narrow window of tolerance. But it is working, and we are pretty close to being able to resume working with that particular trauma memory. So there is hope :).
