Struggling With Forever

[Loubylou]

Hi - I'm a newby here,so hello!
I've got complex PTSD from a number of different sources over the first 30 years of my life.
After years and years of intervention and therapy I have finally got myself into a position where I am safe and well. However I know (and have been warned and prepared for) that I will have this reoccurances of my symptoms for life.
I got married 4 years ago for the second time and all is going really well in my life.........

So how come its so hard to deal with relationships, and my marriage, and sleeping and etc etc etc.
I cognitively know what is happening, but it certainly makes me feel bleurgh when it all happens :(

Its been helpful to read other posts on here to know I'm not alone in how I'm feeling. But how do people best use this forum.....regular check-ins?... waiting for a big downer?....

Lou
x
Not looking forward to going to sleep for another night of horrible dreams

 

[CraftyCath]

I cognitively know what is happening, but it certainly makes me feel bleurgh when it all happens

I think we all associate with that one.
Hi Lou, I only joined recently after having complex PTSD for over 27 years. I was only diagnosed 7 years ago and have started to built my life up since then. It felt great to know that I wasn't mad and it wasn't my fault.
[QUOTESo how come its so hard to deal with relationships, and my marriage, and sleeping and etc etc etc.][/QUOTE]
I think the symptoms make it that much harder for those with PTSD. I also believe that relationships are always difficult even without PTSD. The sleep thing for me is a problem because I don't know how to shut my mind down, I think too much. Also, I get scared that when I sleep I might have a nightmare and when I do have them I wake up feeling like I haven't had any sleep at all!

I use the forum for encouragement, information and to meet others who totally understand what I am going through. I ahve only been here a short while but I found it to be a safe place where I am not judged. So many people in the world dissemble but here I feel I can be the real me for once.

I hope you settle in here quickly and find it useful.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Lou,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. Sometimes when the present is stable and safe, the past rears it ugly head with a vengeance and stirs up all sorts of symptoms. I think we have to be in a certain place before our mind lets us deal with some things. Not a proven theory, just based on personal experience.

The forum is a great place for information, sharing and support. Use it as you need and want, and you will find that members vary in their use too. That is the great part of being here, the acceptance and understanding.

Debbie

 

[Loubylou]

Thankyou both. I can certainly identify with both of you. I certainly find that the happier my day is, the more difficult I find it. This I guess is good cos I must be pretty happy at the moment! But I'm just winding down into my bed routine and beginning to start feeling aware of what the night might bring...
Even posting on here today has helped my husband as he's been able to see that there are patterns that happen in people - he's been really supportive tonight :)
So thankyou for your replies and for the opportunity to share - I really appreciate it
Lou

 

[Loubylou]

PS how do you change your mood button on your profile?

 

[broken_one]

You have to have a paid subscription to change your mood ;) I just joined yesterday and I was wondering that too,

What is bleurg???

I'm learning my way here too. From other problems I've had, I've learned it's helpful just knowing you are not alone, and it is also helpful when you can actually help someone else with your support.

Best of luck to you my friend. <3

 

[Loubylou]

Bleurg is my way of saying when something feels really bad and frustrating and you feel all washed up!
It's been so nice already to make contact with people who understand - thankyou .

 

[Srain]

Welcome Loubylou,

What you are experiencing is certainly a lot like what I have found happening in my life and it was a HUGE shock. I just didn't get it and it took me a long time to find the answers and actually accepting my diagnosis as possible to cause me such problems. I think the scariest is the Depersonalization, feeling like I'm not even a part of my life, just floating around watching it and then mood swings.

I found a lot of answers and identification here, it coincides with my therapy and helps supports me with my therapy. I hope you find more help here as well.

peace,
rain

 

[Kim]

Welcome to the forum. I also suffer from PTSD/Complex Trauma. I can relate to what you're talking about. You are not alone.

 

[Loubylou]

Hi folks - thankyou for the comments. It felt good today to know that even though I'd had a bad night with dreams I could come on here and talk with people who understand. I also feels it takes some pressure off my husband who probably doesn't want to hear about my bad dreams for the millionth time. He has been so supportive the last few days in particular, but it always help to have more supporters in your team - then we can all help each other eh!

 

[Froggie]

Welcome to the forum Loubylou. Many before me have given you some great insight about this forum. For me, at first, it was the articles (look in wiki section) that greatly helped me. Then I had to get used to "surfing around" as this was the first time for me to be on a forum. This is absolutely a great place that I gave the information to my psychologist and psychiatrist to hand out to other patients. Best of luck to you.