Sufferer Dating Another Sufferer

[Javagoat]

My partner and I have been together for 8 yrs. We trigger the crap out of each other sometimes. We both had traumatic childhoods. I've been medicated and in therapy for about three years. My symptoms are okay now for the most part. She remains my biggest trigger. She was in therapy and medicated for a couple of years before we met but hasn't gone back to it because she feels that it won't fix it and it is too stressful for minimal benefits. Therefore, she just smokes pot and stays in the house when she feels bad. I'm her only support other than a friend that she talks to in another state every couple of weeks. She is just coming out of about a week and half depression. She had two big meltdowns where everything was hopeless, she was utterly alone, nothing was working out, and her life has always been painful. It is awful for me to witness when this happens and it messes me up for days. I love her but when it is like this, I wonder if it is just too hard on me :(.

 

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

This may be too hard for your healing. Have you discussed this with therapist? I hope you have expressed this openly with your lady. I, too can be the trigger - but it took a while to see when I was doing it.

 

[ProudWife99]

My husband and I also trigger one another. We had to not only be motivated to heal for ourselves, but so we could provide a safe environment for the other person. He'll often say that he would not have gone back to his Prolonged Exposure therapy if he didn't have to come home to me. He resented me for a while and it was difficult, but having him healthier was worth it.

I guess what I'm saying is, you cannot be the glue for her. I hope she can get motivated to seek some form of help for the both of you.