I think I acquired a verbal tic. This was part of what first brought me to suspect that I had PTSD- it was the most obvious symptom.
There were a few others. For a while, any time I smelled food, I would come close to vomiting. I simply stopped eating- and for me, this is a big deal. I've never had an eating disorder in my life. This was something entirely new.
I also experienced the vomit-response a few other times, whenever certain ideas or images related to what happen would pop into my head. I don't get this anymore, and this is a very good thing, considering I honestly lost about 20 pounds in three months. I'm a pretty bulky guy, but sometimes I'm shocked when I look at pictures of myself in those days- I was practically wiry.
Anyway, I'm doing much better now, but the most marked remnant of my symptoms still persists- a verbal tic. Sometimes it's a groan, or a curse, that always comes back along with the memories- although sometimes it also pops up out of nowhere.
I grew a beard. I became super-introverted. My whole demeanor changed. It's been a year. I'm not depressed anymore, but sometimes I feel like an entirely different person... as if I am a new personality that commandeered the body of my old self. At the time, I remember, this angered me greatly. I wanted to go back to how things were, but now, I don't feel too badly about it- maybe because it's a distant memory.
Has anyone ever experienced this? Does this sound like PTSD to you? My hands shake sometimes and I get flashbacks and nightmares, as well.
I know, it sounds really bad- but on average I feel incredibly good. Every day I feel grateful for the opportunities that have been presented to me. Things really are going far better than last year- but I can't get rid of some of these ANNOYING remnants of symptoms.
What should I do? Any help, support, or advice would be greatly appreciated.
There were a few others. For a while, any time I smelled food, I would come close to vomiting. I simply stopped eating- and for me, this is a big deal. I've never had an eating disorder in my life. This was something entirely new.
I also experienced the vomit-response a few other times, whenever certain ideas or images related to what happen would pop into my head. I don't get this anymore, and this is a very good thing, considering I honestly lost about 20 pounds in three months. I'm a pretty bulky guy, but sometimes I'm shocked when I look at pictures of myself in those days- I was practically wiry.
Anyway, I'm doing much better now, but the most marked remnant of my symptoms still persists- a verbal tic. Sometimes it's a groan, or a curse, that always comes back along with the memories- although sometimes it also pops up out of nowhere.
I grew a beard. I became super-introverted. My whole demeanor changed. It's been a year. I'm not depressed anymore, but sometimes I feel like an entirely different person... as if I am a new personality that commandeered the body of my old self. At the time, I remember, this angered me greatly. I wanted to go back to how things were, but now, I don't feel too badly about it- maybe because it's a distant memory.
Has anyone ever experienced this? Does this sound like PTSD to you? My hands shake sometimes and I get flashbacks and nightmares, as well.
I know, it sounds really bad- but on average I feel incredibly good. Every day I feel grateful for the opportunities that have been presented to me. Things really are going far better than last year- but I can't get rid of some of these ANNOYING remnants of symptoms.
What should I do? Any help, support, or advice would be greatly appreciated.
