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[Whitneys story]

 

[Whitneys story]

You are already ours!

 

[Icon Nikon]

Hi all you kind friends with spirit lifting pictures:

Please forgive me for not coming on here and saying thank you. I, for whatever reason, was not seeing the alerts for this thread. I think my brain, which is not my friend of late, was seeing the alerts as replies to Nighthawlk's knee replacement thread which I had been posting to.

Not to diminish any other post here, but I did want to say a different kind of thank you to Anthony. I not only want to thank you for being understanding and flexible enough to hammer out a workable arrangement for me to be able to remain connected if/when I have more surgery, but for taking a moment, while busy tending to so many members and site development, to stop by here and wish me well with whatever the future throws at me.

To everyone else (seems so impersonal):
I thank you for continuing to stand with me and by me through this long, arduous, discouraging, exasperating, and insanely sad 13 month (and still counting) hospital "incarceration" without even any "yard time". Silly prison analogy!

I have been having to fight hard again with my medical team, fearing that they may eventually cure me of this most recent virus/infection but at the same time are not respecting the very real danger of C-Diff destroying (eating away the lining/walls of) my intestinal tract.

Additionally, I am worried that when they can get around to reevaluating me, my tumor will have become inoperable due to all the delays, mistreatments, withholding of treatments, and setbacks since the last brain surgery in December (8 months ago - I should have been home within a month or two without all the iatrogenic debacles and complications).

I also fear that if they keep pumping my body full of antibiotics without properly attending to the existing C-Diff, then it will eventually become unresponsive to the limited available treatment options.

And if it comes to that, having had it 3 times before, then the only option left is to surgically remove most of it. However, even if my body could survive that, I doubt that there would be any quality of life left to fight for.

I am sorry! I just meant to pop on while I had wifi service and say:

With much gratitude,
Alex

 

[Nighthawk]

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

(((Alex))) I admire you so much for maintaining your good attitude while fighting for your life. I know you are fighting with all you have and I respect that! I pray that compassion will surge in all of your caretakers' hearts. You deserve the BEST!

 

[Srain]

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Just for you. You are in my prayers. You are very brave and couragous.

 

[Sammy]

((((Alex))))
I pray for compassion and support from your care-givers and strength for you. Keep fighting. We are here with you.

 

[Froggie]

((((Alex)))) my heart is with you, you are so strong through this battle of yours. I'd go nutty too if I were "hospitally incarerated" for 13 months + :arghh;

Hope that they can manage a strategie soon to operate you and get C-Diff out of your system.

 

[Whitneys story]

((((((((((((((((((((Alex)))))))))))))))))))
Yes this forum is awesome. Cheers to Anthony for creating it. I so appreciate that they allow you to be here. And that your voice can be heard! We the members are an incredible team. Grinning Whitney

 

[Whitneys story]

A picture is worth a thousand words. We have no Bluejays where I live, I have been informed by others. Helping my friends restore a deck, three days in a row; a bluejay has landed at their bird feeding station. Which is in a gorgeous Cedar tree.

I said Hi Alex, and the bluejay chatted for some time. He was 4ft. from me. Intense blue. We do have bluejays, maybe it was lost. I prefer to keep an open mind, everything is possible. Sometimes we must look through new eyes to see more.

I am taking my camera, I overslept friday and forgot it. I so enjoyed the extra rest!
Soft Hugs, Whitney

 

[Icon Nikon]

Whitney,

"Jay" comes from my middle initial and also a nickname I also used while working as a Control Systems Engineer on construction sites. It helped enable "me" to make the first impression rather than my given female name in male dominated meetings.

Although many birders hate Blue Jays because they, like squirrels, steal all the food from feeders (often breaking them), I find them to be "scrappy survivors" and thus a good symbol for my own "scrappy battle to survive" (or at least a symbol to keep fighting despite the odds).

You typically do not have Blue Jays like these in your area:

But you should have Steller's Jays, like these:

However, I highly doubt that anyone will be seeing these "Jays" anytime soon (LOL):

Thanks for all the support, EVERYONE!

It means more than you might imagine! So please trust me when I say, anything that helps me stave off the depression, tears, and utter submission/surrender is a huge help, both mentally and with this long physical battle, current viral challenge.

With much affection and admiration,
Alex