Support person

[RoadtoHappy]

If you reported your trauma to the police who was your support person? how did you choose them? did they drive you to the station or bring you home? Were they allowed into the interview room?

I want my T to be mine, she always says 'we' when we discuss reporting it but I am unsure if that means she will come with me or if I have to ask someone else. She has contact the detective for me, got his number but I now have to ring him myself and set up the appointment to meet with him.

The reason I want her is that she knows everything and how I am when I talk about specific details of the trauma but I dont know if her coming is part of her therapy or if maybe its a no due to boundaries. We have excellent boundaries set up so no issue from either of us with crossing them, she is not my friend she is my T I am fully aware.

 

[EveHarrington]

I wouldn’t see this as a boundary violation. I know here in the USA it’s common for a T to help in this process, even doing the reporting themselves.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Much of my sexual abuse was never reported as I was a child. As an adult I was strangled and it really messed me up. My family ignored me, never expressed any concern. This bothered the detectives that found and arrested my attacker. They picked me up and took me to court and then took me to lunch and gave me advice how to gain a sense of safety. I’m sure others have advice about taking your t. I’d like to think that would be ok. Like pay her for her time to keep it professional. Good luck to you. You’ll surprise yourself once you get in there how well you will be. But if you need to break down, then let it be.

 

[LuckiLee]

I was my best friend's supporter. I took her to the police station and was with her the whole time. And took her to court. Her eyes never left mine while she told her story. Her situation was a bit different because the guy was out on parole for doing the same thing to a different victim. The judged believed every word she said and found him guilty. He died in prison before his sentencing.

My friend was so brave through all of it. To this day I am in awe of her. I don't know whether or not your T is the way to go bit it has to be someone you trust. If it's someone you love? All the better.

Best of luck and sending strength and courage your way!!

 

[RoadtoHappy]

Thank you for your responses. They are helpful and comforting. I must add that paying my T for her time is not an issue and something I would absolutely expect to do. I am married to a fantastic man that knows almost everything but there are a few specific details that were done to me that night that I cannot bring myself to ever disclose to him and he is fully aware of this and very supportive! My T is the only perishing I have disclosed these with and talked about which is why I would like her to be my support but I just was not sure if this was something that T’s Dif and how the process would work before and after. Like do I meet her there and drive myself and what happens after if I’m not in a good way.

Many thanks for your response!