Telling People About My Ptsd

[LongStoryShort]

Hi! I was diagnosed a couple of years ago. I have a question, hope I can get some answers. See I am in a situation at Uni where I am currently struggling to cope with some group work. Many times when I end up in these situations I google PTSD anf the other thing I was diagnosed with to seek comfort in that my behaviour id not unusual for at least ppl with PTSD. Such confirmation helps to an extent :)

Now because of struggling, because of my paranoia etc. I Feel like I should tell my group about my diagnosis. Just so they can maybe understand why this is so hard for me and that I fo not always mean to behave in the way I do cause some of it is an automatic response.

I have earlier in life made the mistake ad to pour out info about trauma to whom ever, even people I just met. Now I would not do that again. But I am thinking about just saying I suffer from this and if you think I act weird it is just because of this.

I have by googling noticed though thst most people would not tell anyone but their family. I wonder why? I guess I would not want anyone to think I am using it as an excuse. I know eveyone has problems, but mine interfere with my social life quite a bit. I find it's hard not telling. So why would you not tell?

I would at this point in life not want to, talk about it, so I would not do that, but just to let ppl know why it's hard for me, in what way could that damage me?

 

[keifer]

I've only told my youngest sister to whom I'm closest to and 5 very close friends. They still don't understand. My marine friend does as he knows other people with it.

I told my PA and he left the room so quickly, I thought there'd be a hole in the door but he opened it. People may care, but they don't know how to react or support you.

My sister is coming to my next session for this reason. I've considered asking one for my friends but I'm also isolating a bit and just want to be left alone lately.

I don't share with anyone else, as even my close friends look at me at times wide eyed and in disbelief.

 

[LongStoryShort]

Thank you for you input keifer. I'm sorry to hear that. I guess my experiences with telling people have not been only positive. Ithhurts when people do not believe you or take what you are saying seriously. Though I don't quite get it, what is so hard with it to understand.

I feel I'm damaged and so what.. still here coping with stuff. I can be so normal too, which is why people are sceptical I guess. The funny thing is personally I would rather tell a stranger then my family.

 

[The Albatross]

Close friends and family knows... working relationships don't know unless or until I experience difficulty. I've only had a couple of blips in one job... none in the other part time job. So one knows, the other doesn't.

 

[Stanley Shi-Yume]

Your question is my question, friend.


How do I present me authentically? The true flawed one....
The intent is to communicate how seriously I take the connection and interaction.

I don't exactly know what to say other than to assert I will give a thorough effort whilst admitting that it is somewhat difficult for me to connect sometimes

 

[Eleanor]

LSS, Here is another option: You could have a conversation where you tell them that you have an illness that makes certain things tough for you emotionally. You can give them information about how to interpret your behavior which they might otherwise misunderstand. You can also tell them what they might do that would help you continue to participate if you are in an emotionally tricky spot.

Obviously, they don't need to know about the origin of your trauma. If you want to share that for some reason, you can choose to do that, but you don't have to.

If you think of this as just a purely practical problem with working with someone, (in the same category as, say, getting across campus with a backpack full of books if you were on crutches) can you think of a solution that would work for you? It is also OK to ask if there is a way (within your possibly limited scope) that you could help them deal with the situation.

The more matter of fact you can be about it, the more manageable it will likely be.

FWIW the other members of the group might well not be all "there" either!

 

[Justpassintime]

I hear you, I can clear a whole room of people in no time with what I could share, but choose to not share :D

I don't think you need to go into all that - you can say something simple and blanket in nature, like I think/learn differently so this part of the group is difficult for me. No need to share further details. If someone presses you for information simply reply, "Why do you ask?" as this is a VERY polite way to point out they are being very rude and tends to end the convo.

It also helps to know your strengths and weaknesses well. I will tell people - I rock at a, b, and c - and before they can think I'm terribly conceited, I will follow up with, and I can't do d, e, and f to save my life.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

What about telling them you have an anxiety disorder? That way it's not like dropping a ton of bricks on them.

 

[LongStoryShort]

Thank you very much for all the advice :-) Many good ideas, very helpful, I rarely know what to say or not to. Thanks.

 

[Eleanor]

I find that in situations where I am likely to "freeze up" it helps to either rehearse (in the mirror in the bathroom) or else just decide I am going into the situation as someone else - my very confident and articulate sister, Gibbs from NCIS, etc.:geek:

 

[Barberian]

If I'm in a situation where I have to interact with others, and my conditions will or are affecting my behavior I have no problem telling people my conditions. Be it a cashier, nurse, or some random person I end up talking to.I do usually limit what I admit to is "an anxiety disorder". PTSD is, or was (old/new DSM) an anxiety disorder, so I'm not lying.

Sometimes they react poorly and I can see them become apprehensive, or defensive, or the side glances as they consider their options of how to escape the situation. It doesn't bother me, it's their loss. Usually though it defuses the situation, something about putting a name on a behavior seems to put people more at ease than dealing with someone with an unknown issue. Also something about admitting a weakness to someone, helps them feel more in control.

Yes the stereotype of PTSD, has scared off a few people. Especially because I'm big, have a long beard, and my physical appearance has a few negative stereotypes by it's self. Do I care? No. I didn't know them before the conversation, I lost nothing by them avoiding me. A month, a year, five years from now I won't even remember the encounter, why get worked up about what others think about me? I have more important things to deal with.

 

[eav]

PTSD seems to live and thrive on secrecy, at least for me. I've told those I think are capable of understanding, but I also explain to them that I can't and won't discuss what happened because it triggers me to talk about it. The fact that I have a diagnosis has to be enough information about the traumas. I also explain a few basics about PTSD because people really don't seem to know much beyond the stereotypes--simply explaining fight, flight, or freeze responses gives those around me an opportunity to help me cope. Many people have come to me and opened up about their own experiences with trauma and even PTSD, and sometimes I will tell them parts of mine. I've connected with some people on a very deep level, and it has been therapeutic. It also helps for those (MANY) days when I feel like quitting therapy--I have a supportive network I would have to justify quitting to.