That Support System!

[CFRNLG]

I have struggled with PTSD for the majority of this year. I am easily triggered when life is overall more stressful. I know longer go to counseling because it was through worker's comp and I ran out. I have people in my life who ask me how they can help when these 'flare ups' hit me and I don't know how to respond to that. I don't know how to include friends/family in aiding me. Does anyone have any suggestions? Maybe things people do for you that really help? I would greatly appreciate it!!

 

[sun seeker]

Hard to say because we're all different; there is no "average PTSD sufferer." Some of us need to be left alone; for others that makes it worse. I don't know where you fall on this spectrum or any other, so I can only say what works for me.

Unfortunately, my experience so far is that only people who have been there and possibly people who have studied what trauma does to us over many years, like therapists, really understand what is going on inside us when we are having an episode. Others may mean well but they err on the side of trying to talk to parts of the brain that aren't there to be talked to, because they just don't get what that's like. You have to be really blunt with such people if you are blessed with their presence and wanting to help. "Thank you for being there. Just BEING there is enough. I DON'T want you to tell me what to do."

Most people have a really hard time just being with a person in pain of whatever kind. They want to fix it. That's not their job. It's up to you and hopefully your therapist, and way beyond most lay people. What they can do is keep you company in your pain. Just hang out without expecting anything. Letting you know by their presence that they care means so much, more than incessant flurries of advice that you grit your teeth over. Maybe a back or foot rub if that calms you, or whatever is soothing, as long as there are no expectations that after X amount of time you're going to feel better.

So really? "Just be with me. Don't expect anything from being there, just be."

And it's surprising how few people can manage that. If they can't, well, then you thank them for their good intentions and tell them to call round again when you're feeling better. But you might just find a few gems who can handle being there.

But that's just me. I don't know what would be helpful to you.

 

[aut555]

Hard to say because we're all different; there is no "average PTSD sufferer." Some of us need to be...

Like this because l didn't really know how to voice that. I just can't hold your hand and go through my ptsd at the same time.

 

[CFRNLG]

Hard to say because we're all different; there is no "average PTSD sufferer." Some of us need to be...

Thank you, I really appreciate your input.

 

[Tinyflame]

Idk, I guess I would say if they could have understanding & patience, clear questions or communication, don't scream at the person, be calm, be reassuring?