Sufferer The hidden monster - r/o ptsd

[Princess Tuesday]

So they say R/O PTSD in my diagnoses . - more than one professional has said this. That means "rule out" - like maybe it's there -maybe not. I don't have conscious memories of abuse but a lot of symptoms-- of women who experienced sexual abuse very early and repressed it-- one psychologist told me many years ago.
Lots of guilt - shame- self-anger-- at one time it was "hate" - self -hate. cutting myself and hitting myself. hating my body-- full of fear and shame.
My world blew up when I was 15-- (and that was decades ago!) --that's when the anxiety got so bad = i had to see professionals and eventually be hospitalized. Not gonna try to tell the whole story here- and now-- but i think what the psychologist above said is true-- and it's like I am fighting a "hidden monster" that i cannot completely find and destroy. Instead the feelings are constantly attempting to destroy me-- but my faith in God and the reality of Him in my life -keep me going. I'll never give up. I'll never give the monster- the demon-- whatever it is-- the victory. "Rest if you must - But don't you quit." - from a poem is now my motto.

I hope to learn something from all of you- the articles and staff-- it's not a subject you can just talk about anywhere. Thanks for being here. Thanks for creating this website/ forum.

 

[ladee]

Welcome @Princess Tuesday , so grateful you found us. I too have no memories, and it's it's own kind of hell and crazymaking 'monster'... I truly hope you become involved here. It can be a bit much at times... so be easy with yourself... but there is tons of support, experience and validation here... we do understand.. and you are right, thank God we have this place to come too... glad you are here.

 

[Princess Tuesday]

Thank you for your post, ladee Its nice to hear from someone! I am still figuring out how to work the pages-- took me awhile to find your post but i did! ha! Had no idea there was a book called hidden monsters-- -that is just the word that came up to me last night as I wrote.

 

[ladee]

Takes a little while to lean how to navigate the forum... if you get stuck, you can always do a help ticket.. at the top of the page... and it tells you what to do... many here willing to help...

Hidden Monsters, we all have them... and that is what this work is about.... bringing them into the light... so we can heal from the damage done... hope you find your way around easier as time goes... glad you are here...

 

[LuckiLee]

Hi. Welcome. Glad you found us. You'll find great information and support here. A great place to start is with the PTSD stress cup.

Best of luck on your journey!

 

[Princess Tuesday]

Takes a little while to lean how to navigate the forum... if you get stuck, you can always do a help tick...

thanks ladee!

Hi. Welcome. Glad you found us. You'll find great information and support here. A great place to start...

thank you for that luckilee!