The One Thing.......

[Deleted member 34535]

The one thing that those of us with PTSD along with other mental health diagnosis need to guard against is trying to hold onto relationships with those who at the very least do not have our best interests at heart. Especially those who we share like DNA with. For example.....my soon to be 24 year old son chose of his own free will not to have anything to do with me for the past 2 and 1/2 years. And why you might ask? Two things....I believe in God.....and I belong to a group who thinks individuals know best how to live their life and not a nameless, faceless bureaucrat. Not to mention, he decided to.....of his own free will......believe in the opposite of God......And in his own words a liberal political philosophy. Personally, I could care less, and I told him this, if someone worships a tennis ball. If their belief in a tennis ball allows them to treat me with kindness and dignity, I am all for it.

As was stated in a previous thread, those of us who suffered unthinkable trauma at the hands of evil human beings are prey for individuals who would look to prey on those like us who have been victimized. As we progress through our treatment and gain knowledge, these individuals will stand out for us to see them as what they are, mere parasites and abusers. I believe it is paramount for us, the wounded, to recognize who these parasites are. If we pay attention, we will see all of the subtle characteristics they use to take advantage of us.

WE, as the abused if you will, are inclined to please everyone. We do this for one simple reason. We want to make everyone happy because we do not want to be harmed any more. As we progress through our treatment, we need to end this cycle of curing the ills of the world and making everyone happy but ourselves. We need to get selfish ASAP. We need to realize that we are wonderful human beings who deserve to live also. Blessings to all!!!!

 

[sedna]

The one thing that those of us with PTSD along with other mental health diagnosis need to guard agai...

crc53 I'm sorry you feel you need to let go of your son to take care of yourself. It's true that we need to guard against our desire to be codependent so we wont get hurt, and it almost always invites the opposite. I have left most of my family in the dust trying to recover, and good riddance. It's not quite the same as a child though, and I imagine thats very tough.
So far Ive been fortunate with my boys, but they're still young. They may join a satanic cult of tennis balls, or liberals, if not worse someday. It's more likely the impact of my breakdown will hit them when they're adults out in the world and they wont be able to forgive me. I know that I'd be useless trying to fight with them though, sometimes you have to let go.

You gotta keep looking after yourself. :tup:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

my soon to be 24 year old son chose of his own free will not to have anything to do with me for the past 2 and 1/2 years. And why you might ask? Two things....I believe in God.....and I belong to a group who thinks individuals know best how to live their life and not a nameless, faceless bureaucrat. Not to mention, he decided to.....of his own free will......believe in the opposite of God......And in his own words a liberal political philosophy. Personally, I could care less, and I told him this, if someone worships a tennis ball. If their belief in a tennis ball allows them to treat me with kindness and dignity, I am all for it.

It is difficult for me to be a parent to an adult child who has beliefs that she has chosen opposite to mine. It has been a lot of working on myself to maintain the relationship and respect her beliefs although I do not agree with them. I try to be respectful and loving, and accepting and I admit it is a struggle at times.

I am sorry that your son has refused to have anything to do with you, that kind of thing would hurt me. I hope that as your son grows and matures he will gain a new wisdom and rethink the entire thing between you. I lost one son son when he was very drunk to a motorcycle accident and he died three days later. That really hurts because he was making bad choices which eventually killed him. I miss him still even though this happened many years ago. I have my own regrets as well.

His death taught me so much about how short lives can be and we just do not what lies around the corner for us.

I hope that this is not preachy to you. If it is not helpful please just toss it.

 

[Deleted member 34535]

I certainly appreciate any input on a subject that I can get. In 2 years, my DNA son moved in and out of my home a total of 4 times. And every time, he just ran away like a child and gave me no respect at all. The truth of the matter is he decided to try it a 5th time. I stayed up with him until 3 am in the morning just talking to him. 3 hours later he came into my room and said, "I need to go to the hospital, I am feeling euphoric." That was the worst acting job on earth. He and his mother wanted me to go to the Psych ward and spill my guts about my brother using a shotgun to commit suicide 3 years earlier. He wanted to get his disability check from the government. No matter what you do you can not make someone love you or even like you. It has only been my DNA family members who have used and abused me. At age 53 and soon to be 54, I am done. My new definition of a family member is anyone who treats me with kindness and dignity. I am leaving those who do not in the dust, and happily so.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

My new definition of a family member is anyone who treats me with kindness and dignity. I am leaving those who do not in the dust, and happily so.

Thank you for clarifying your situation, totally understand, I kind of agree with you on the path you are taking with you DNA son. I would do the same thing, no one needs that in their lives. I am so sorry.

 

[Deleted member 34535]

Thank you for clarifying your situation, totally understand, I kind of agree with you on the path you are...

Thank you Gizmo. No need for you to be sorry. Sometimes I need to pinch myself because none of the trash that I have had to deal with seems real at times, but it is. But I am doing fine and my faith helps to keep me grounded in reality. It can be a lonely existence at times, but I would rather be lonely than have worthless takers like my so-called son in my life. One day at a time.....one day at a time.