intothelight
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I took this from the home page as this is the primary reason this forum exists. It is a tool, in addition to other tools, to help those with PTSD or friends and family of someone with PTSD, to help themselves improve their life.
The primary purpose is to help ourselves first by reading about other people's experiences, information about types of therapy, various tools for healthy coping, articles and information that expands our knowledge base and give us ideas and the encouragement to keep going forward in a manner that improves our lives.
The second part of the forum involves our interacting with other members. Many times, this may be the first interaction with other people, especially after periods of isolation. But with interaction also comes responsibility. Remember, this is a mental health forum, and before you write, take a minute and consider the impact your words might have on the recipient.
First and foremost, there is no excuse for attacking or hostility toward anyone. If you find those emotions creeping up, walk away, close your screen, move on to a different post or use the ignore feature. But there are also other response modes that can be as damaging and I think it would do us all good to be aware of these.
Sympathy-Acknowledging a person's emotional hardships and providing comfort and assurance.
There are many times that sympathy is a perfectly acceptable response. There are some things that are so horrific, events that involve great loss, or someone is in a place so bad there are little options left. But sympathy can also be dangerous, as too much in some situations can keep a person stuck. In essence what happens is a pity party, and an individual is drowning in so much sorrow, they loose hope and sight of the goal. It is also dangerous for the person who is sympathetic. One who is suffering knows when it is over, but those that were sympathizing may not and that can be damaging to their own mental health.
Empathy-Understanding what someone else is feeling because you have experienced it yourself or can put yourself in their shoes.
That is one of the main attractions of the forum as people here really do understand, because in essence we have all been there and done that. When you feel empathy, remember to offer suggestions that helped you when you were in that spot, or reinforce someone's idea to encourage them to keep moving forward. These are good uses of empathy. But empathy can also be dangerous if we project our own issues onto another person that would interfere with their ability to move forward.
Support is a role that we all play here. It isn't just limited to what I mentioned above. It involves encouragement, honesty, appropriate levels of concern, validation, a kind word, etc. We all just need to keep the goal in mind when we interact.
