Therapist gone for 6 weeks

[willhealeventually]

I have been in intensive treatment for ptsd with a wonderful therapist who has helped me a lot. In addition to medication, she is my counselor. Well, she had to leave for 6 weeks - I’ve been seeing her 2x per week. She did refer me to her colleague in case I need help.
Of course I need help. Her taking a hiatus for necessary licensing process is hitting me hard.
I have so much going on: single mom of two boys, taking my last grad course, juggling interviews/applications because I lost my job, and dealing with one of my boys having severe anxiety/depression.
Because I also have agoraphobia, every exit from the house is a ... process. It takes me substantial time to talk myself into going anywhere. Last week, going to an interview, took 2 hours of self talk and grounding.
I also had to go to court to get my son his own lawyer for the divorce. He feels strongly about how often he wants to see his dad... i got him the lawyer, but being in the same room with my ex was triggering...
One of the reasons my ex left me was because he didn’t understand my trauma symptoms when they came up and I couldn’t have sex. When I see him, I overlay flashbacks onto him - a dirty old man (which he is not). The smells, textures of hair, visuals - are all so vivid.
I literally feel like I am in some kind of hell that never ends.
I got a gym membership with my younger son to use their pool. Unfortunately if there are any older men in the pool I have panic attacks and freeze...What was meant to be self care turned into more triggers.
Finally, my son accidentally got a sexual text from his father to the new gf of his father. I read it and have been feeling repulsion, disgust, and haven’t been sleeping. Of course, I made sure my son would not be exposed to this again.
Any support is much appreciated....
Thank you

 

[susannahsays]

Sorry your therapist is away. Have you reached out to the colleague yet? Seems like it might be best to get in with them sooner rather than later so things don't snowball.

 

[willhealeventually]

Unfortunately, my appointment with her is 2 weeks away - I have to somehow make do until then...

 

[susannahsays]

That's really unfortunate. I would hope that if the therapist I see twice weekly had to leave like that, I wouldn't have to wait 2 weeks.

Do you have a psychiatrist? If so, maybe you could see her or him while you are waiting.

 

[bellbird]

I just wanted to say I understand how hard that is.
My old T had 2 periods of leave where she was halfway around the world and without email access for several weeks each time.

During the first one, I left my abusive relationship. And during the second one, I had the realisation from a repressed memory that I had been raped.

It was incredibly difficult to go through both of those things, especially so with no way of contacting her. But I got through it. And you will too :hug:

My advice is to make use of all other available support you have access to.
Friends, family, your T's colleague, support hotlines, this forum, grounding strategies, etc.
And if particular selfcare strategies turn out to have the opposite effect, scrap them. The emphasis is on -selfcare- not on using a specific strategy irrespective of its impact on you.