Therapist Out Of Town

[ellienad]

Alright, so my T is out of town. It's only been a few days and I still have a week to go...yikes! Just looking for some extra support here on this forum :unsure:

 

[mrsps]

I feel your pain! Its hard enough waiting to see my T each week let alone a longer time when they go on holiday. What has helped me is to write stuff down that is on your mind and when you have your next appointment you can either read it out of let them read it. Is there something you can do to keep you busy to try and keep your mind occupied? :)

 

[Seasounds]

I get this kind of abandonment panic, like where's my grandmother or my blankie. My T routinely takes 3 weeks off in August - a drag. I guess it is getting to be that T vacation time of year.

Does anything seem to help you?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It was always hard on me too. I needed therapy. So I can relate to how you are feeling right now. I do so much self care at times like that now. I hope you take really good care of yourself meeting your needs and wants.

 

[Harry Osborn]

I'd be happy to talk to you (can we do PMs on this forum). Barring that, maybe see if there are some community resources you can take advantage of during the time your therapist is away, like some crisis center (they will talk to people off-hours, even during the weekend) if you are feeling *really* anxious/can't cope even with previously successful coping skills.

I had a situation come up during Friday afternoon/weekend (therapist unavailable), so I've some experience given that. They can help you via the phone or walk-in consultation (I don't think they charge, but just in case bring whatever insurance etc. you have). I found them limited but extremely helpful, and it was at their prompting that I decided to look for a community specific to PTSD (they said journaling but I'm not good and that and I don't want anybody finding them, so I prefer a forum where I can fully express myself and possibly receive feedback, and help others).

Anyway, try your best to occupy yourself (much easier said than done, I know), but try anyway. I've been trying to draw lately. I had a fanfic I was writing but that's presently on hiatus until I can get my mind together enough to devote to it the attention it deserves.
Go for a walk--though not too strainful of a walk--I've been trying to almost run away by walking for hours, nowhere in particular, out of anxiety.

If you have the mind for it, try reading a bit, maybe?

 

[ellienad]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I really appreciate the support.

@mrsps Writing is a huge help to me and a great therapeutic outlet. My T actually encouraged me to write while she was away, and I've been doing so, but it's hard knowing I won't be able to share it with her right away. I've been trying to take on projects, things that I enjoy doing and keep me busy, and it's helped a little. I've also tried just keeping myself busy by doing errands and meeting friends and such, but it seems like once everything is over towards the end of the day is really when things get tough.

I get this kind of abandonment panic, like where's my grandmother or my blankie

@change YES! I experienced quite a bit of separation anxiety after my last session and for the first day or so she was gone. It still comes and goes occasionally as well. "Abandonment panic" is a great way for describing it. Thank you for that ;) What seems to be helping is writing as I mentioned above. My T also gave me a "transition object", something from her office that I could hold, carry with me, look at, etc. while she's away which helps a bit as well. She also has been extremely generous in that she's allowing me to check in with her as needed via phone or text which I am incredibly grateful for. However, while it's helpful, it's almost seeming to make me miss her more :(

@gizmo Thank you so much, I'm trying! What are some things you like to do for yourself when times are tough?

@Harry Osborn Thank you for your support and advice. Reading, exercising, and writing are all helpful to me as well, so I'm trying to keep busy with those things. It's great you've found an outlet in your drawing!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Taking the day off. Wearing my soft clothes. Watching a good movie or reading a good book and eating comfort foods. Reaching out to friends by phone or letter. Coming here. Cuddling a shirt of my husband who died a year ago. Watching sitcoms that I just adore. Getting out my soft, powder blue blanket out and taking a nap or naps. I have come a long way because at first, I did not know what my needs and wants were. And then to top it off, when I did get an idea, I had to fight with myself to meet those needs and wants and often I would go without comfort.

 

[Harry Osborn]

Thank you for your support and advice. Reading, exercising, and writing are all helpful to me as well, so I'm trying to keep busy with those things. It's great you've found an outlet in your drawing!

Yes, after a while of going nowhere near it (not quite triggering but difficult experience related to it happened last year--I used to do a lot of work for a now former friend of mine last summer, when we fell out drawing just made me depressed), it's good to seem to have it back, even if I'd prefer to write at this exact moment.

Thank you, however. My offer still extends, of course, and I believe you are strong enough to get through this.

 

[Jane.l]

My T is on hols too - I have 'abandonment panic ' issues !

I find writing and making sure that I don't isolate too much probably most helpful - and not doing all the majorly unhelpful things like drinking and not eating , cutting etc it's so exhausting having to battle not to do all the wrong things all the time. Counting the days ![DOUBLEPOST=1404134614,1404134416][/DOUBLEPOST]On the upside - I write songs so trying to channel some of the yucky feelings into that helps to .

 

[ellienad]

I think another side to this is that I see my T multiple times throughout the week, so I'm missing much more than one or two sessions. It's taken me a while to get to the point where I feel comfortable and safe with my T, and I'm worried that by taking this "break" I will be going backwards, you know? I'm afraid it will be hard to get back to where I was.

@Jane.l Hang in there!! We can have our abandonment panic together :hug::tup:

 

[Leigh925]

I am so grateful to see this post. I am really struggling this week with my therapist out of town. I feel like such a baby that it has been so difficult for me. I totally get the abandonment panic. I am a little worried though because I feel like I had to numb myself out to get through this break and I was just opening up and learning to trust. I just couldn't take the angst I was feeling in the pit of my stomach all of the time so I just disconnected from it. He gave me a heads up last time but this time I was caught off guard and not prepared for it. I feel hurt and have no reason to feel that way. It just sucks

 

[ellienad]

@Leigh925 I'm sorry you are struggling, I can sympathize with you. I think numbing out and/or disconnecting is an automatic coping mechanism and I can completely relate to this. The last session before my T left I was finally able to admit that I was disconnecting as a way for myself to feel comfortable with her leaving. It was one of the first sessions that I was actually able to articulate how I was feeling in the moment and be honest and truthful with those feelings. However, this made it all the harder to take this break because I'm afraid it will be hard to get back to that honest place again...

I feel hurt and have no reason to feel that way.

I think you definitely do have a reason to feel hurt. He didn't give you the heads up you needed and therefore felt abandoned and caught off gaurd. That makes total sense, and I think it's perfectly fine to feel "like a baby because it's been so difficult." I do too ;)

It just sucks

It does suck. It really really sucks.

Did you discuss with your T if you can/will be able to get in touch with him if needed while he's away?