Therapy 'homework'

[Poppycocteau]

I have been seeing my therapist since February, and am able to talk a little more than I could before about my trauma without breaking down, and I am learning to control the anxiety that going to the appointments produces in me a lot better too. At the last appointment, however, she said that she wants me to do half an hour of 'homework' each day - that is, half an hour of tackling my fears and exposing myself to triggers. I guess I'll try it, though I am very apprehensive and threatened by the idea - after all, it can't make me much more grumpy and horrible to be around than I am already . . . but has anyone else's therapist told them to do this? I haven't seen any such thing mentioned anywhere on here, and wanted to know what other people's thoughts were on a structured way of facing triggers as opposed to just doing it when one feels able to.

 

[SimplyComplex]

I journal nearly every day and it is exposure...writing and thinking about trauma. My T told me to do it. I do a good deal of exposure all on my own, started before I started therapy. I worked my way through a list of exposure to females until I was able to see a female therapist...which is an exposure in itself (my primary abuser is female).

I guess my t doesnt assign homework so much as makes suggestions. Like I never really "moved in" my house because I moved around so much growing up and we were always sort of the move. I have lived here 8 years...so we have talked about hanging pictures, painting a room, etc. I actually totally decorated a room this week :) So it is suggested homework.

My husband's t give him homework. He had to design a box. He had to make a list of family things to do on weekends. Etc. I imagine when they start doing trauma work, she iwll give him trauma related homework, but right now they are working on self care and coping.

So what will you work on first?

 

[charliehotelwhiskey]

I have also been journaling and my therapist has given me material to read and some excerises to try out. I find it really helpful and I have uncovered things about myself and things that were buried deep down inside me.

 

[seedling]

Poppy - I've had therapy homework doing some units on anger management. I found them intimidating at first and thought that the things I wrote down weren't "right." But my therapist was positive about my work every time. It gave him something to go on when we went over it and I got a lot of insight.

If all you can do for the half hour is something very small, or getting up some courage, that will be enough. This is to help you, not prove a point. If this type of homework ends up not suiting you or not helping, you simply say so. It's your therapy, it can be tailored to your needs and goals.

I'm not certain what your therapist means by exposing yourself to triggers - do you fully understand the task she is putting forward? If you don't quite know what to do make a start on what you think will help you and see how it goes. Then discuss it with her and go from there.

I do write things down between sessions. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I tend to forget important thoughts/fears/insights quickly. If I write them down I can bring them up in a session if we end up doing something that relates. My T just gave me a daily checklist of symptoms on a numbered scale to keep as a "mood diary." I think it will help him to see what my main symptoms are and if I write things down as well, we can see perhaps what goes with those feelings and thoughts.

Good luck.

 

[kimba]

I also journal and include the good and bad. Right now I am a little confused and anxious about some recent developments. The journaling helps me remember what I want to mention in T too. Sometimes something will come up during the session and she'll ask me to think about it for next time etc.

 

[drgnfl2078]

My T has never told me to face my triggers; however I have done so on my own accord. As hard as it was leading up to it...it was equally rewarding. My thing is fireworks...but this 4th I went to a show with my friends...I sobbed through it and rocked myself in the fetal position during it...but I kept reminding myself I'm safe and I'm happy...see nothing is hurting me right now...its okay. :) I think its good to do when you are ready.

 

[Poppycocteau]

Thankyou, everyone, for the helpful and informative replies. I feel more confident now about it, knowing that this sort of thing has worked well for others. I am supposed to be doing things like, for instance, reading a leaflet about eating disorders, or handling cigarette packets (things connected with my trauma) and practicing breathing exercises and convincing myself that these things can't hurt me now and have no meaning in themselves. I also have to deal with general, every-day anxiety such as 'irrational' worrying about Adam being killed while he is at work. To this end I also have to keep a mood diary, but I am finding that really hard because she said to write in it when my mood changes, but I feel like if I did that I'd never do anything else because my moods are so erratic! So I end up just writing in it once a day, if that, because the task of trying to catalogue all of my emotions and why I have them feels too daunting and insurmountable.

 

[Srain]

I have a journal and do some stuff on my own but she doesn't give me homework which is unusual for me. I try to work on things myself, grounding techniques, etc.. I might talk to her about just what types of things you would start with, in my opinion you don't want to risk retraumatization.

Rain

 

[seedling]

I understand not being able to write down all your mood changes! It would be a huge job, I'm sure.

I have to rate each of my feelings on a 0 - 3 scale for the day, hard to do since it can be a 3 in the morning and a 0 in the evening. Have to figure out a way of at least being consistent - lol.

Good luck Poppy, you're on your way.

 

[anthony]

At the last appointment, however, she said that she wants me to do half an hour of 'homework' each day - that is, half an hour of tackling my fears and exposing myself to triggers. I guess I'll try it, though I am very apprehensive and threatened by the idea

If you aren't willing to help yourself by doing the work, then how do you feel you'll actually ever improve? A therapy session a week isn't going to do a great deal for you... that might keep you coping, but it won't fix a lot of the core issues.

Homework is the only way a therapist has for a person to really want to make any progress, unless you have the money to book daily therapy appointments, which then you would get work done and achieved at a more rapid pace... but it comes with a cost.

This site is all about self-help, about you helping you. If you aren't willing to help yourself, then your immediate response to the homework, "I guess I'll try it, though I am very apprehensive" says to me immediately, that you're looking for your therapist to solve your problems for you, instead of you doing the actual work yourself.

You can change all that from changing that statement to: "I am committed to healing and will accomplish this daily homework task, regardless the fear I have or symptoms it creates, I will achieve." Vastly different mental approaches which derive vastly different outcomes. One you have given up near completely before you try, likely giving it a shot and stopping because it created symptoms and made you feel bad, the second is fighting the symptoms that are hindering you to achieve success, knowing that the desired outcome is long term improvement, acknowledging short term pain to achieve that result.

Choice!

 

[ronin47]

My therapist doesn't specifically call it "homework," but she does give me specific things to try to do and work on during the times we are not together such as journaling and identifying positive experiences. My first real therapist did call it homework occasionally, and it was hard, but if I gave it my best effort even if it didn't turn out the way it was supposed to he counted that as a success. For instance, in trying to help me be less isolated, he "assigned" me to do three social activities that involved reaching out to other people. I invited someone to have lunch with me but they declined and I got an acquaintance to go see a movie with me. However my third one fell through. I was going to go to a cultural movie night but got there late so that the door was already closed, the room dark, and the movie rolling. I lost my nerve and didn't go in. But just the fact that I gave it a try made my therapist happy. After all, you never know until you try. The fact that she is trying to push you to work on healing outside of her office shows me that she is invested in seeing you improve. It may seem like one step forward, two steps back at times, but before you know it you'll look back at the beginning and marvel at how far you've come without perhaps even realizing it.

 

[SimplyComplex]

The mood diary:
Do you journal? When I used to struggle with knowing my feelings, I would write my feelings at the top of each entry. It helped me alot, now I am pretty good at knowing what I feel. Just a suggestion.