Sexual Assault Therapy isn’t working

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Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
I'm sorry all that happened to you @justasimplecat

As someone who stuffed it all away and 'forgot' about it. It's a great fantastic not painful strategy. Until it all unravels. And it does. And then all the trauma is there anyways. But, in my case, decades later. And realising I have lived a full but not full life of numbing. Still being triggered but hiding and no awareness and just wtf!

So as painful as it is: processing is the only answer. (In my opinion. I'm certainly left with no other option).

My T specialises in transactional analysis, from a relational perspective, and does psychotherapy. I'm 18 months in. Some things have been better, something's much worse. But I'm sticking with it.

Sometimes talking directly about trauma prematurely can be harmful. Talking around it might be safer?

I hope you find a way that works for you.
 

DharmaGirl

MyPTSD Pro
There comes a time when you have to stop engaging with these thoughts and move on.
Number one on the list of things never to say to someone with CPTSD. You are not talking to someone who is normal, and just going through a bad time, you are talking to someone who's brain is wired differently now. Saying move on is not helpful, nor will it work.
These thoughts will go away on their own if you let them.
I beg to differ. When you have PTSD/CPTSD they don't go away on their own. That is the nature of the illness. Maybe for people who don't have a mental illness, but not for those who have PTSD.
 

justasimplecat

Policy Enforcement
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I have requested for this thread to be removed.
I have repeatedly said that it is not working for me and hasn’t for many years.
Maybe my approach is “wrong” to all of you, but it isn’t to me. It’s the first thing that has felt right to me in a long, long time.
Please stop trying to encourage me or push me into continuing with therapy.
It’s great that it’s worked for all of you, no matter how long it took, but it hasn’t worked for me; none of them have.
I’m really tired of repeating this.
I don’t feel heard/listened to/understood and I really thought at least somebody would.
No two people are the same. So yes maybe forgetting about it unravelled FOR YOU, but who is to say that it definitely will for me? Yes obviously I’ll still have the memories, but nobody can say I haven’t tried, haven’t given this a fair shot.
For once in my life I’m actually listening to my body and what it’s telling me it needs.
I can’t force something to work for me, and I won’t any more.
The last time, I almost died. It’s a damn miracle I’m even still here to type this, let alone thinking clearly for the first time.

I have given it time, patience, and done everything I can to make myself get better with help, and unfortunately it didn’t work for me, if it worked for you, great. But I am not you.
And yes obviously I mentioned my big traumas in therapy, because I thought I had to! For years, I didn’t mention it, and then when I did, it got worse. I thought I had to mention it in therapy... She kept pushing and saying she could tell I was holding something back, not telling her quite everything, so yes I told her. I didn’t feel I had much choice!
Why make me feel even more like shit for talking about my big traumas, as if it is somehow my fault that I now feel like this? Sorry but you have no idea why I did what I did until now that I’ve JUST mentioned it.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
I can understand that you don't want to keep talking about it over and over again. That it's re-traumatizing you and that you just want to talk about something else. I get it. 🙂
 

grief

Sponsor
nobody here is telling you that you have to endure therapy. in fact many people have agreed with you. that therapy is only as effective as what you get out of it. nevertheless you have argued with every person on this thread who has attempted to offer support and advice. this is a ptsd forum. we all know what ptsd is like. and we all know denial when we hear it.
 

Friday

Moderator
Please stop trying to encourage me or push me into continuing with therapy.
It’s great that it’s worked for all of you, no matter how long it took, but it hasn’t worked for me; none of them have.
I have no idea where you’re getting this. The vast majority of people on the thread have said the exact opposite, to what it seems you think they’re saying?
Therapy isn't for everyone, and it's not always the right time to process trauma. Sounds like you are saying, this is not the right time for that.
If your body is telling you therapy is shit, perhaps for now it is. Perhaps for now you have the right to think about something else.
Well, there is more than one way to treat trauma.
I don’t do EMDR, so this is NOT me waving a flag around for my favorite therapy, or trying to convince you to go. It’s not, and I’m not.
It's fine to not wanna talk about trauma all the time imo, it's fine to take a break n work on present day stuff, but what that stuff is is pretty individual.

It’s reading like you were so geared up for a fight / everyone disagreeing with you, that you’re not actually reading what people are saying.

Why make me feel even more like shit for talking about my big traumas, as if it is somehow my fault that I now feel like this? Sorry but you have no idea why I did what I did until now that I’ve JUST mentioned it.

<grin> It IS the most PTSD thing I’ve read in months, though, to take people making suggestions for the future, to change the problems you’re currently having, as needing some kind of time machine to go back and change what happened in the past, to change the problems you’re currently having. I’m pretty sure we’ve all done THAT at some point.

If you tell people your shoes keep falling off when you run 3 miles, and they start making suggestions on how to keep your shoes on? They’re NOT saying to go back in time, and have done things differently. They’re giving suggestions for things to try in the future to keep your shoes on whilst running. No time machines for guilt trips, needed. Suggestions for different ways to do things... in the future. Not in the past.
 

DharmaGirl

MyPTSD Pro
I don't know if you'll come back, and I was going to post earlier but I had the morning chores to do.

First - I read what happened to you in an earlier thread, and I was shocked and appalled at how horrible your experience was. It was NOT YOUR FAULT! None of it. You did not have to fight back to not give consent. It was horrible! You did not in any way deserve to be treated like that. I would love to get my hands on those creatures who did that to you.

Anyway, if you read Anthony's (the forum founder) response on another thread, he also stopped therapy and healed through this website. Here is a quote.

I'm still learning. It took me 10 years to really see change. Nine and a half of those ten years, there was no therapy. There was nothing I could tell a therapist that I hadn't written here for the world to see and get broad experience back to me. The basics I learnt have not changed. Nor have they become redundant. The basics are still applicable today as they were when I learnt them 16 years ago.
Maybe it would be helpful to start a diary, or read some articles on here if you haven't already. If therapy is too retraumatizing, something else is in order.

This is not referring directly to your thread. One of what I consider the best things about this website is that forum members don't coddle anyone. They try to alert one to cognitive distortions and patterns of behavior that is causing one distress. This may come across feeling like blame, or being unsympathetic, but it is done from a place of caring. I have found it's helpful to hear and think about, after I am done feeling mad about it, lol. I hope you stick around and continue to post because most of my healing came from here also.
 

justasimplecat

Policy Enforcement
Not Active
What the-
Are you kidding? I am not “gearing for a fight at all”?! What a horrible thing to say! I’m trying to explain my side of things and keep being made to feel like I’m wrong for it; maybe not directly being told I’m wrong, but it’s definitely implied.
I HAVE read what people have said. That’s entirely the point.
You’ve highlighted those sentences above yes, but have failed to acknowledge the parts where they’re also like “give it time”, “I encourage you to try it”, or “it’ll take a while”, “eventually it’ll catch up with you” and other likewise things etc etc. that nobody seems to be reading where I’ve repeatedly said I HAVE been working on this for years already and instead of seeing any positive change, I have only seen increasingly negative.
It’s illogical (and harmful!) to expect me to keep pursuing something that is having such a negative effect on me, expecting better results. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. I wish it did, but it doesn’t.
So I’m changing my approach and trying something new, by myself, which thankfully seems to be working right now.
I don’t WANT to give therapy another try or give it a bit longer, because I truly think it will end up killing me. I’ve already given it years and years and multiple attempts, multiple types of therapy plus medication etc, and unfortunately it just hasn’t worked.
Nobody seems to be getting this. I’m frustrated at being told to keep going for it/give it longer or whatever, when I’ve clearly stated more than once that it’s driving me to suicide.
No I don’t “want a fight”. I want people to understand, and I stupidly thought that fellow PTSD sufferers might actually get it, not make me feel even worse and then try to shame me or accuse me of “wanting a fight” because I’m frustrated at having to constantly explain and justify why therapy doesn’t work for me? My mistake!
I don’t know why it doesn’t work, it just doesn’t. Maybe it’s my ASD? Maybe I’m more “broken” than most? I don’t know. It’s not like I’m in denial that I’m traumatized or need to find a way to deal with it. I’ve never once said I don’t need to deal with it; I just don’t think the mainstream therapies are the way TO deal with it. Not now, not ever, apparently.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
What the-
Are you kidding? I am not “gearing for a fight at all”?! What a horrible thing to say! I’m trying to explain my side of things and keep being made to feel like I’m wrong for it; maybe not directly being told I’m wrong, but it’s definitely implied.
I HAVE read what people have said. That’s entirely the point.
You’ve highlighted those sentences above yes, but have failed to acknowledge the parts where they’re also like “give it time”, “I encourage you to try it”, or “it’ll take a while”, “eventually it’ll catch up with you” and other likewise things etc etc. that nobody seems to be reading where I’ve repeatedly said I HAVE been working on this for years already and instead of seeing any positive change, I have only seen increasingly negative.
It’s illogical (and harmful!) to expect me to keep pursuing something that is having such a negative effect on me, expecting better results. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. I wish it did, but it doesn’t.
So I’m changing my approach and trying something new, by myself, which thankfully seems to be working right now.
I don’t WANT to give therapy another try or give it a bit longer, because I truly think it will end up killing me. I’ve already given it years and years and multiple attempts, multiple types of therapy plus medication etc, and unfortunately it just hasn’t worked.
Nobody seems to be getting this. I’m frustrated at being told to keep going for it/give it longer or whatever, when I’ve clearly stated more than once that it’s driving me to suicide.
Did you read my posts?
 

grief

Sponsor
It’s illogical (and harmful!) to expect me to keep pursuing something that is having such a negative effect on me, expecting better results.
no one is expecting you to do anything.

I don’t WANT to give therapy another try or give it a bit longer, because I truly think it will end up killing me.
that's fine.

keep being made to feel like I’m wrong for it
this is incorrect. you feel wrong. no one is making you feel wrong.
 
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