Yup, me too. I used to only feel "normal" when dealing with crisis after so many years of living that way. It's taking a long time to break that nasty old habit.
Same here. Drama, gossip, dysfunction, were all normal for me too. It took me approximately 45 years to finally crash and burn. I'd just re-united with my sweetheart after a 30 year absence. Went cross country to see and speak with him for the first time in 30 years.
3 days into my visit, I got sicker than I've ever been in my life. The headaches were excruciating.....felt like my head was exploding with every heartbeat. I was vomiting green stuff all over the place. I think it was at this point that all the poison that had been built up in my life was just spewing forth, triggered by being with someone who I'd always loved, but hadn't seen since I was sixteen years old.
Needless to say, I was very, very sick for about two months with these horrific headache that came on every time I tried to sleep or relax. The only thing that helped was walking really fast and smoking copious amounts of medical maryjane, which saved my life. Another thing about the headaches is that I sort of felt like "something" was "breaking loose" inside my skull. It was really hard to work, cause every couple of hours I had to go walk and smoke to ward off the impending headache.
I definitely think it is late onset PTSD. I started coping with drugs and booze at 13, and stayed medicated ever since. I lived a life that was never supposed to be mine, nor should ever have to be lived by ANYONE. Now, I am a completely different person and look back on the parts of my life that I remember in a really, really detached way. It is truly as if someone else lived my life, and I was just there for the ride.......sort of a low-grade DID.
