externalsmile
Silver Member
Just a little update.
I have been living my life the past two months and I am starting to enjoy life again.
I got some good news during the week and hopefully soon I will be able to start moving on from some of the traumas in my life. Since getting the good news I am sleeping better than ever! Good proper out for the count sleep! As it is nightmares have greatly subsided and weren't as distressing but this week I haven't had one single nightmare.
Oh, and I am doing fantastic at college! My assignment that I was stressing so much about....well I came out top of the class despite being in a major depressive episode and suicidal! Even though I didn't get the mark I could achieve I know it wasn't my fault that I was so unwell so I am not kicking myself over it. Before I would have ended up quite depressed and angry and entered the self-blame cycle. This time I patted myself on the back and it just encouraged me to keep smiling and living my life.
Yeah I do have some bad moments still, I get scared easy, I am scared shitless of one particular person and what he is capable of but soon I will own my life again. Until then I will cherish each moment that the real me manages to burst through all the negativity.
Message to Real Me........I can't wait to be with you full time because you are wonderful, kind, sweet, intelligent, vibrant, happy person to be around and I love you.
I have been living my life the past two months and I am starting to enjoy life again.
I got some good news during the week and hopefully soon I will be able to start moving on from some of the traumas in my life. Since getting the good news I am sleeping better than ever! Good proper out for the count sleep! As it is nightmares have greatly subsided and weren't as distressing but this week I haven't had one single nightmare.
Oh, and I am doing fantastic at college! My assignment that I was stressing so much about....well I came out top of the class despite being in a major depressive episode and suicidal! Even though I didn't get the mark I could achieve I know it wasn't my fault that I was so unwell so I am not kicking myself over it. Before I would have ended up quite depressed and angry and entered the self-blame cycle. This time I patted myself on the back and it just encouraged me to keep smiling and living my life.
Yeah I do have some bad moments still, I get scared easy, I am scared shitless of one particular person and what he is capable of but soon I will own my life again. Until then I will cherish each moment that the real me manages to burst through all the negativity.
Message to Real Me........I can't wait to be with you full time because you are wonderful, kind, sweet, intelligent, vibrant, happy person to be around and I love you.
