Relationship To Message Or Not To Message...that Is The Question

[Bubbles215]

And all advice greatly received....as ever.

After the worst birthday last week we had a tiny moment where we both said we both hate what is happening but right now this is for the best. I've quietly squirrelled myself away and have been reading and learning more about PTSD and I know now I was really pushing my luck with contacting him as his isolation was bringing out my anxieties - neither of us are to blame, it's just the way it is. So I have now backed right off and I can see that is absolutely what must be done

This week I am aware that his divorce is finally through and I know how stressful and painful it will be for him - I understand that is something he needs to work on but I don't know whether I should send a message to acknowledge it. I would hate for him to think I wasn't thinking of him.

Help...

Thank you as ever.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I would give him some space... He may not want reminders that his divorce is final if he is stressed out.

The only way I'd contact him is to shoot him *one* text saying that I respect his need for space, and that he can feel free to message me anytime, no pressure.

I think a lot of times we supporters tend to think our sufferers need us to contact them because we personally want to contact them ourselves. It's more about our insecurity or wants than theirs. For me personally, it's been a lot easier for me to deal with my vets isolation once I realized that. He needs space to reset, and me giving him space with no hurt feelings was a loving act. It's not about me. It's about him needing space for his mental health.

It still sucks to miss him though...

 

[Bubbles215]

Hey Sweatpea76 :-)

Wow thanks so much for the sound advice. You've really hit the nail on the head about what we think our sufferers need versus our need to contact. Thanks so much - that made a lot of sense and I can see that space is the best and only option.

Awww it really does suck huh!!

Thanks again :-)

 

[Milo's papa]

Hey Bubbles215, you're right it really does suck, but it makes getting back together even sweeter.

Hang in there, he'll come around when he's ready.