Trapped

[BradyLady]

I'm constantly stuck in a no-win situation.

If I say what I'm feeling, I'm being demanding.
Say it twice, and I'm a nagging old shrew.
If I keep my mouth shut, I'm trying to punish others with the silent treatment.

Start my sentences with "I," and I'm being self-centered.
Start my sentences with "you," and I'm playing a blame game.

Talk directly to my husband, and he doesn't listen.
Vent elsewhere, and I'm talking behind his back, which is evil.
Keep it inside, and I'm being a martyr.

Do I ever do anything right?

 

[Snowflake]

I'm constantly stuck in a no-win situation.

If I say what I'm feeling, I'm being demanding.
Say it t...

I totally understand- more than you know !!!

 

[Killashandra]

I understand where your coming from too.

The spiral of blame and shame and not knowing if this is normal or not. You do do what is right, right for you. It's how you've learnt to deal with things. It may be out dated and was probably more effective when you were y9unger but it doesn't work in adult and married life.

When you talk to other people it's because they don't have any emotional connection to the issues. It's safer. But not.

When you talk to husband, he hears blame. So it's safer not to.

But I'm learning that by doing this you are not allowing yourself to be vulnerable to you or your intimate relationship.
Vunerablity is hard for us . We've been conditioned to self protect and we feel shame and other bad feelings 100 fold than a normal person in the same situation,

Be kind to yourself and let yourself experience these feelings and find the root. It's hard. It's torturous.
Compassion for ourselves is difficult.

If you need to talk I'm here. And you are more than welcome to read my diaries or posts so you know where I'm coming from.

All the best
Killa