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Other Traumatic brain injury or "just PTSD" or a mental disorder?

Please please go to a doctor. I don’t want to put the fear in you but my Dad had a lot of those symptoms and…. Turned out to be a glioblastoma. Lord knows how long the tumour had been growing before diagnosis, possibly years. And he gave up going to a Dr ages before the diagnosis because he was told the symptoms seemed unrelated. He didn’t get put on random psych meds though because he’s male and therefore they didn’t do the whole “we don’t know and can’t be bothered to find out so we’ll label it as hysterical woman” routine.
I already promised Friday I'll go. I do hate going to the doctors though, as I always have to deal with that hysterical woman crap. I had my brain scanned a few years ago, due to these symptoms, and they found nothing, so I think I'm ok. Thanks for caring. <3
 
PTSD and Functional Neurologic Disorder (you should have them check into this as well as it's highly likely to develop FND as a somatoform traumatic response, and functional neurologic deficits are genuine neurological issues - they are starting to see this on imaging as well with more finely attuned equipment - they relate to how your brain processes information following the structural changes correlated to PTSD and excessive stress) can cause most of these symptoms.

But so can tumors and lesions and strokes and drug abuse and any number of other issues that affect the brain. If you can approximate when these symptoms started and correlate it to an injury it may be more likely that you do have post-concussion syndrome (a form of brain damage that is relatively mild, and does not always show up on traditional imaging but that can be detected with FNCI, which you may not have gotten).

But there are specific tests they can run you through to figure out what parts of the brain are affected and if it is a neurological or psychological deficit (with neurological deficits you often have different ways of moving, different reflexes, etc). If you received all of these tests and they came back negative for observable damage, you could still have damage that is undetectable, but it is more probable that your issues are relative to trauma, stress, FND and PTSD.
 
PTSD and Functional Neurologic Disorder (you should have them check into this as well as it's highly likely to develop FND as a somatoform traumatic response, and functional neurologic deficits are genuine neurological issues - they are starting to see this on imaging as well with more finely attuned equipment - they relate to how your brain processes information following the structural changes correlated to PTSD and excessive stress) can cause most of these symptoms.

But so can tumors and lesions and strokes and drug abuse and any number of other issues that affect the brain. If you can approximate when these symptoms started and correlate it to an injury it may be more likely that you do have post-concussion syndrome (a form of brain damage that is relatively mild, and does not always show up on traditional imaging but that can be detected with FNCI, which you may not have gotten).

But there are specific tests they can run you through to figure out what parts of the brain are affected and if it is a neurological or psychological deficit (with neurological deficits you often have different ways of moving, different reflexes, etc). If you received all of these tests and they came back negative for observable damage, you could still have damage that is undetectable, but it is more probable that your issues are relative to trauma, stress, FND and PTSD.
My Neurologist DID find neurological issues in some of the tests. Something about how my eyes moved when he made me look at some pattern moving. He said he was very surprised, as he thought he wouldn't find anything, based on how healthy and quick I looked. Yet, he couldn't find a reason for his findings. I believe I might have some neurological problem, as I feel like I'm super sick, but to me it doesn't seem emotional, like some of them think. It feels like I'm off balance in some deeper way, as if my body fails me. They ended up diagnosing the brain fog as "migraine", and I feel they don't take me seriously, as I work in a high profile job and to them I seem to cope "splendidly". I am so much more miserable than they realize. I am scared and tired and unhappy and lonely. I want help, but I feel like anything I say will be used against me instead of for me.
Thanks for the links. I'll check them out later. Now I have to leave. I got so much feedback and I wanted to answer it all, but I'm exhausted, and my brain fog is bad today.
 
Hello,


I was beaten badly in a relationship 10 years ago. Among other things, he kicked me in my head until I lost consciousness and I have no clue how long he continued kicking me after I had passed out (and thus couldn't protect myself anymore). He also hit me in the head with a metal bar a few days later, and again I lost consciousness. Once he suddenly punched me in the temples while I was driving, and I passed out while driving. We survived the crash.... The relationship didn't last long, but parts of it was really bad, as you can tell.
I owe (most of) my PTSD to that relationship and the threats and happenings that followed the end of that relationship.

A few years later, I entered a new relationship, and I ended up crying and defending myself because he said I was being mean to him, while I really didn't mean anything mean. I would cry and cry and beg and beg and reassure him, over and over and over on a daily basis. I don't know why I didn't leave, but I think I kept questioning myself - was I doing something mean unconsciously, like he claimed? "You don't think you are mean, but you unconsciously try to hurt me". I was so confused in that relationship. I believe he was psychotic, but I was too fragile from the previous relationship to tell if it was me or not, so I just tried to be nicer and nicer until I couldn't say a thing without fear of accusations. I needed him to see my good side.

And then, not too long ago, I lived with a man for a year, and when he said similar things it really broke my confidence - He claimed I was being mean with him, when I really don't think I was. He saw mean intent in what I said all the time, even if I meant well. It really made me feel scared and paranoid of both my mind and my heart - and of him. I became terrified of making mistakes.

So, to my question.
Thinking: I was super sharp and smart and had good, happy relationships up until the fatal one, 10 years ago. After that my brain at times feels like a foggy lump of useless mass, and I am not clear like I used to be.
Moods: I also used to keep my moods stable through anything, even through fights or physical withdrawals (caffeine and nicotine) or no sleep. I had a high tolerance for stress, I guess. After that, I have struggled with mood changes from small things like a cup of coffee, or a glass of soda with aspartame, or with nervousness from not sleeping.
Triggers: If accused of being mean, I feel as if I leave my body and I just end up begging for kindness. "be kind, be kind, be kind". I was labeled "crazy" because of this begging, but I felt unsafe when accused of meaning something I didn't mean, and with the fog that came on, I couldn't even explain myself, and just ended up begging for kindness.

In periods I feel so foggy I lose words, when stressed. I just cannot find my head's sharpness anymore. I lose my vision too, at times. My head feels like a dense lump of inflamed flesh that I cannot contact with my nervous system. It is partly linked to eating the "wrong things" or not resting enough or stressors in romantic relationships. I feel unable to think and I become whiny and weak in a way I hate, just crying and begging for kindness. It isn't pretty, nor very rational. I only feel ok if I don't eat for half a day, don't talk with people and am on vacation and walk alone in the forest. Then I feel ok for a while at times, but it isn't very sustainable.

Is this brain fog and that behavior "just ptsd" as normal, or did I get a brain injury from the beating? Or is this the beginning of some mental disorder?
I feel ok when I'm not in relationships, and the relationships I had from before the initial trauma are still good. My work relationships are also good. And the romantic relationships I have had since the initial traumatic one, have been with men that people have said "are no good", so it might be them, but I still don't like how I react with this "brain paralysis". Any thoughts?
So, I am neurodivergent medically, PTSD, multiple TBIs, have low sugar issues periodically, dissociative disorder
( derealization), and have had bad brain fog. I worked w a highly experienced therapist who helped me w the dissociation part. Getting that under control in therapy helped me to discern and work with other isssues and their leftovers. So if you are foggy and not grounded, getting grounded is essential to helping w brain fog, and being present enough to work through other issues. Just my thoughts-that helped me. Good luck!
 
You got lots of great replies, but I wanted to touch on just a few things, because I can completely relate to feeling like crap all the time and never getting an answer.

I don't have "headaches" with these migraines
That's not that unusual. I have migraines without headaches. They can manifest in different ways, so if your doctors weren't specific about what was a migraine and what wasn't, you can probably find info online.
I am so angry with these doctors,
Oh yeah...I totally get this. I only go to the doctor if I absolutely must, because they have been trained to look for very specific symptoms and very seldom are willing to look outside the box. If you present with multiple seemingly unrelated symptoms, they often go to "mental illness." I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after years of pain and a host of other weird symptoms, and it really helped that I had a diagnosis and a better way to manage them.
any time you’re offered a medical hospitalization to examine a bizarre problem? Go. For. It. Firstly, it proves your honesty (and will make your doctors far more likely to believe you in the future), but better it gives you 24/7 access to doctors/tests/labs that get about 2 years worth of outpatient appointments with specialists & testing done in a matter of days.
Yeah, but the bills you're stuck with may just make being alive and getting by day-to-day so not worth it. Tests are SUPER expensive, not all hospitals work with you financially, and being strapped with bills that will take a decade to pay off may not be worth it. Especially if you've already had a shitload of tests and they didn't find anything.
I do hate going to the doctors though, as I always have to deal with that hysterical woman crap.
Oh, yeah. I had abdominal pain for years--told to take Tylenol, not worry about it, etc.--that turned out being multiple fibroids. The pain NEVER went away, not until they did a hysterectomy.
I believe I might have some neurological problem, as I feel like I'm super sick, but to me it doesn't seem emotional, like some of them think. It feels like I'm off balance in some deeper way, as if my body fails me. They ended up diagnosing the brain fog as "migraine", and I feel they don't take me seriously, as I work in a high profile job and to them I seem to cope "splendidly". I am so much more miserable than they realize. I am scared and tired and unhappy and lonely. I want help, but I feel like anything I say will be used against me instead of for me.
I understand this 100%. Just a note about migraine, though. It's not a crap diagnosis--migraines, with headache or not, can be debilitating. You very well might have migraine, among other things.

I finally just quit seeing doctors, but I've been to dozens of general practitioners and specialists. They did find some things, but I am convinced (as is my T) that they are missing something. I can function, though. Some of your symptoms:

2. my vision sometimes got almost totally lost,
3. my speech got slurred,
4. I started walking as if I was drunk,
5. I'd have trouble breathing at times and
6. I would feel a lot of pressure in my head, as if my brain was swelling.
7. nausea, even vomiting at times
sound like they could be very serious. So I'd probably look for someone who specialized in TBI to start. Then go from there. (If, of course, you haven't already).
 
Yeah, but the bills you're stuck with may just make being alive and getting by day-to-day so not worth it. Tests are SUPER expensive, not all hospitals work with you financially, and being strapped with bills that will take a decade to pay off may not be worth it. Especially if you've already had a shitload of tests and they didn't find anything.
For sure. There’s always a risk/reward aspect to absolutely anything. And each person is going to have a different evaluation of that ratio.

As well as how much someone values their own (or someone else’s) life.

My personal preference is being in debt, rather than dead, or destitute.

Speaking as someone who has been in over 7 figures of medical debt, as well as someone who -on another occasion- has lost everything waiting years for appropriate medical care. Can’t even apply for disability/aid/social-services without a diagnosis, so when I say lost everyhing? I mean job, home, all my belongings, the ability to feed myself (not just buying food but the actual act)…. Life wasn’t not worth living, diagnosed/treated/working when we got the care we needed, because i was in debt. Life got to be lived because of that debt.
 
Asking ChatGPT the symptoms of TBI I got:

Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) can manifest with a wide range of symptoms, which may vary in severity. Common symptoms include:

1. Headache or migraines
2. Confusion or memory problems
3. Dizziness or loss of balance
4. Nausea or vomiting
5. Fatigue or sleep disturbances
6. Sensory changes (e.g., blurred vision, ringing in the ears)
7. Mood swings, irritability, or changes in behavior
8. Difficulty concentrating or paying attention
9. Speech and language problems
10. Sensory sensitivity (e.g., to light or noise)
11. Loss of consciousness (in severe cases)
12. Seizures (in some cases)

It's important to seek medical attention if you or someone you know experiences head trauma and exhibits any of these symptoms, as timely diagnosis and treatment are crucial for recovery. The severity and combination of symptoms can vary widely based on the extent and location of the brain injury.

It seems most of these apply to you.
 
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