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Traumatized as a group. Can we lean on each other?

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Sac

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Hi everyone,

I will get right to it. A few months ago, my colleagues, let's referred to them as the Group, and I went through something traumatic. I don't want to say what happened but it was frightening. I am finally starting treatment this month but I'm nervous since I haven't talked about the incident in about a month and just filling out the intake form via email brought up a lot of emotions. I immediately wanted to call one of the Group but I stopped myself because I didn't want to trigger them. There's been a lot of bad personal stuff happening as well so I have been pretty overwhelmed. The Group have told me to call anytime because I have been there for them when they needed it. I feel like we were anchors for each other but now I worry I might pull them down in the depths with me and drown them...I don't want to add to their suffering or trigger it if they're doing well. I would really like to talk to them about it. I wonder if they want to talk to me? Basically, I am confused if talking to them about what happened to us is a good thing or a bad thing.
 
Hi @Sac welcome to the forum. Sorry your going through a hard time.

The Group have told me to call anytime because I have been there for them when they needed it.

I think you’ve answered your own question ^^^.
You have been there for them and their willing to be there for you. I understand you worry about bring them down, but they can decide what they can and can’t handle. I’m glad your starting therapy.
 
Hi everyone,

I will get right to it. A few months ago, my colleagues, let's referred to them as the Group, and I went through something traumatic. I don't want to say what happened but it was frightening. I am finally starting treatment this month but I'm nervous since I haven't talked about the incident in about a month and just filling out the intake form via email brought up a lot of emotions. I immediately wanted to call one of the Group but I stopped myself because I didn't want to trigger them. There's been a lot of bad personal stuff happening as well so I have been pretty overwhelmed. The Group have told me to call anytime because I have been there for them when they needed it. I feel like we were anchors for each other but now I worry I might pull them down in the depths with me and drown them...I don't want to add to their suffering or trigger it if they're doing well. I would really like to talk to them about it. I wonder if they want to talk to me? Basically, I am confused if talking to them about what happened to us is a good thing or a bad thing.

Depends on what it is and if there is trust there. Personally I do not mix anything with work but that’s me. In my job now, not my previous occupation, the people would not be able to comprehend what I did.
 
You have been there for them and their willing to be there for you. I understand you worry about bring them down, but they can decide what they can and can’t handle.

Exactly. Nothing wrong with prefacing the conversation with your concern, give them a "way out" if it is triggering for them. You have a shared experience and I would imagine others want to talk about it as well. Maybe if some are interested set a time/situation for discussing.

I think it is perfectly normal to want to talk to the others.

Take care,

Whirlwind
 
You have been there for them and their willing to be there for you. I understand you worry about bring them down, but they can decide what they can and can’t handle. I’m glad your starting therapy.
Thank you. You're right. They wouldn't offer if they didn't want to help.
Depends on what it is and if there is trust there. Personally I do not mix anything with work but that’s me. In my job now, not my previous occupation, the people would not be able to comprehend what I did.
The place I work at is much more relaxed than other jobs I've had. In the past, I've kept relationships professional with coworkers. However, when the incident happened at work, that all changed for me. I do trust them. I'm going to see how I feel and if I need them again, maybe I'll reach out.
Exactly. Nothing wrong with prefacing the conversation with your concern, give them a "way out" if it is triggering for them. You have a shared experience and I would imagine others want to talk about it as well.
I think I will do just that. I will give them the option of talking to me and if they are not comfortable with it, I will have to accept that.
 
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The place I work at is much more relaxed than other jobs I've had. In the past, I've kept relationships professional with coworkers. However, when the incident happened at work, that all changed for me. I do trust them. I'm going to see how I feel and if I need them again, maybe I'll reach out.

It’s all up to you. I know like what I do now there is no way anyone can comprehend what being in firefights are really like so not much to relate with. They know I have my dog and she is always at work with me but I do not share why. Since you all have something in common it shouldn’t cause an issue.
 
What @Rainman8772 said.

Depends the trust, the acts, the situation, the group dynamic, and what sort of future you have together.

To me currently relevant groups?

One I know we can count on each other with tough shit. Knew them on / off for decades, in country and out. But no way in hell would I share the depth of things I deal with. Because of many reasons, and many reasons they wouldn't get it, but worry for me the same. And the last thing I need is worry them.

The other group? We move as a group. Or, not move. Despite our individual lives being different trajectories, and often places.

But I also wouldn't bugger them with say, all the schtuff I bugger y'all forumites with. Because it either ain't that hot, or is very hot but not in ways I want a babysitter in. About to crack, way beyond what I can talk on forums, tho? They'd be the first to give a call to. If I can't *make* that call, that is a different thing altogether.

So weight all the variants.
And weight sharing consequences, carefully.
But just because times are tough?
Don't give up on you, on single one of you.

Edited to Add:

Also, don't make the crossover of trauma & work.
They may not be effected the same. Or by the same things. Or process the same or similar way as you.

Might take figuring out if they wish for those conversations in the first place.

There's also a huuge difference between civilian vs anything else jobs trauma. If nothing else if civilians you still *might* have supports outside to reach out to. It may be that possibility / options outside keep it inside the house & relatively quiet, is not there, with others.

It's not just what happened.
It's all the other why's & what & who, around it - plus what happened.
 
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