General Treading Lightly? Hubby Moody

[Jen]

I am getting a horrible feeling that hubby is starting to go back in to his shell again? He was upset about being diagnosed with diabeties he was like what else can go wrong!
I explained to him and have showed him some info that it can be controlled and there wont be to much change for him. The Doc said to him to start walking I am still waiting for him to start! I know if it was me I would be into it!
He is really down and starting to have trouble getting out of bed?
Jen

 

[Kathy]

Oh dear, Jen I wish I had a good answer for you. Just know that Jim and I relate, as we are going through similar experiences with Evie at the moment. She has a physical illness which has gotten worse lately, and she alternates between denying it, being angry at everyone, and retreating to her bed. The last 2 days have been especially bad. Evie has said the same thing, 'what else can go wrong' ? I believe it's difficult for her to remain positive with several stressors occuring at once. Jim gave her another attitude adjustment today and she seems better again, but who knows how long it will last. I hope eventually she will get the message that her behaviour will not be tolerated.

I'm not certain what the answer is with your husband. Can you offer to go walking with him? Will he talk to you about how he feels? I do wish you all the best. Please keep coming back here to talk. If nothing else I am willing to listen.

 

[Jen]

Hi Kathy thank you for your reply since my op I am still a bit restricted in exercise but a couple of times I have asked him to come for a stroll but to no avail! He doesnt talk to me to much about his feelings as he said he doesnt want to worry me?
All his feelings building up cant be a good thing?
Jen

 

[Kathy]

Oh of course your operation, pardon me for forgetting! I do understand him saying he doesn't want to worry you, he is a man after all. :tongue: Seriously though, Evie also uses the same excuse. All his feelings building up are definitely not a good thing. It is unfortunate, however you can not force him to be open to you, though you can keep encouraging him. That's what we're trying to do with Evie at the moment. We tell her we worry anyway, whether she is open with us or no, and quite frankly worry more when we don't know what is going on. It is beginning to work, she is slowly becoming more open with us, however it is up to her, just as it is up to your husband how open he is with you. The most important thing I believe is for you to remain happy and derive pleasure from your life regardless of how your husband is acting or feeling. Detach with love, we say in Al-Anon. It is very difficult to do however. I am still working on it after all these years! I do hope things improve for the two of you in any event.

 

[Jim]

Yep would be nice if we could force the words from their mouths wouldn't it? ;-) Doesn't work that way unfortunately. They can be their own best friend or worst enemy.

Jim.

 

[Jen]

Well he got out of bed and went for a walk the last two days.
But today didnt even make an attempt I really hope he goes for one tomorrow? I get into trouble if I pester him about it!
Jen

 

[Kathy]

Hopefully he merely had an off day Jen. How you are you keeping?

 

[jods]

Hi Jen

At least he did get out, thats a start!

If your hubby isn't comfortable with going out maybe an exercise bike with the arm moving handles may be useful? Even just doing a few laps in the pool?

Does he like needles? If he doesn't, tell him if he doesn't move his butt, he'll end up being insulin dependent & giving himself 2/3 needles a day. My Dad has to do that & that is harder to manage than just being on the tablets.

Hope you are doing well, big hugs!

 

[Jen]

I will bite my tongue he went for a walk last night because he missed on his morning walk :claps::walking:
And he is taking his pushbike to get fixed so hopefully he is seeing the benefit in all this!
Thanks Kathy and Jods I am doing ok! It has been 3 months since the surgery I really feel like I have turned the corner to recovery, the Doc said at least 6 months recovery after the op I had but I wont push it!
Jen

 

[Cole]

Glad to here you're doing well Jen. I remember when my brother in law was told he had diabetes. It took quite awhile for him to get with it. He had to have a massive stroke before he dummied up but it sounds as though your husband is starting on the right track. It just takes time. Just encourage and eat all the sugar! LOL It's all you can do. Stay strong.
Cole

 

[Jim]

Good to hear he got off his butt Jen. Pushbike sounds positive as well. Delighted you are feeling so much better. It is quite the ordeal you have been through. Take good care.

Jim.

 

[Jen]

Thanks Jim I am glad to be feeling better still cant swing a golf club which pisses me off!
But I cant rush it because I had keyhole surgery I thought recovery would be quicker? It doesnt look to bad on the outside it is the inside healing that is slow.

Hubby now has blisters on his feet ( big softie) so no walking for a couple of days he might be better of pushbiking I think?
Jen