Tricks/ Things That Help

[heidi]

I hope people will respond to this. I probably should have taken more time and care in posting this because this is something I think about often and really wish for people's input.
I think sometimes PTSD can be counter intuitive. What helps isn't always the obvious thing
I'm wondering what people have done in general that they have found to be helpful?



*If you say counseling.. then what specifically about counseling helped?

 

[heidi]

For example I think one of the biggest things that helped me was acceptance. I remember telling my therapist that if this is how life is for me now then I need to find a way to live with it. And she said that this wasn't life for me. And that things weren't always going to be this way. And I mean I have improved. My quality of life has drifted upward from a zero on a scale of one to ten.. to maybe a three.

 

[heidi]

Another thing that helped is thinking about the trauma NOT as being about the source and myself. BUT instead as being between me and the wound in my brain. I try to separate the source, from the wound. I think about the wound. Not the source of the wound.

I mean I still have lapses obviously. But it has helped gradually over time. On a daily basis it's like me and my wound.. not the thing that caused it.

 

[Muzikluvr]

I'm working on a "keyword list" to help me stop my obsessive, circular thoughts. I've relived it all. I've sorted it all. I understand all the why's. I've come to a certain level of acceptance. But, I still have these obsessive thoughts... usually involving confronting my dad, or protecting my dad, or explaining everything to my dad, etc... and those thoughts are driven by my childhood beliefs. I've discovered that those beliefs are false. As part of accepting what happened to me, I had to accept that my dad isn't a victim, he made choices and he stands by those choices both consciously and subconsciously (in denial).

So, my keyword list consists of my new set of beliefs, which I do believe firmly. I'm not trying to convince myself to skip any parts of understanding, I'm just trying to remind myself that I've been there... I understand... I know... He knows... etc. It's over. There's nothing left to analyze. I know the outcome of that circular thinking, and here it is.

I just started this process. And, it came from my latest circling of the drain to confront my dad. Usually, that subsides for a month or so, and then hits me hard again. I'm hoping this keyword list, committed to memory by then, will end that pattern for me.

 

[heidi]

And this is really personal to me because it has worked.
I try to think of my thoughts as two lab dogs on either side of me that I want to keep by my side.
I try to keep my thoughts at my side.
Even a little innocent sniffing in the weeds and they run off.
At one time I enjoyed doing a lot of retrospective thinking.
But I don't pull out for a long shot anymore.

It's not even like a zen live in the moment thing.
It's like a what would normally be unhealthy tunnel vision thing.
But this is survival. And it helps.

And of course sometimes my thoughts go out and look back. It happens maybe a couple times a

Not meaning to monopolize.. this is literally all I've got.

 

[Muzikluvr]

One of the breakthroughs I had, when I was having constant flashbacks and wanted to run away and hide somewhere (out of shame, humiliation and extreme terror...) was to realize that I was looking at my memories ALL WRONG. I was looking at them from the abuser's point of view, from my parents' point of view, and everyone else's; except my own. I couldn't see my own point of view.

Well, all my information was coming from what my family said to me, said about me, accused me of... and, from memories of these attacks that seemed out of the blue! To figure out how those attacks could take place, I was listening to the words of my attackers. And, they were manipulating me. None of it made any sense! My perspective was all messed up. How could I be who I am, and these things have happened in my life?

Then I started picturing what it would be like if it were my daughter, in my shoes, and me in my parents' shoes. God, the whole perspective shifted! I started asking "How COULD they?!?" and then more and more understanding began to flood my mind, with it came corroborating memories. Memories that could not be denied, and yet heretofore I had not asked them to explain. There is no explanation for the neglect in those never forgotten, non-traumatic memories.

That really helps me now, because I don't have to prove that they knew I was being raped. I can see, from a parental point of view, that they knew ENOUGH to put an end to it. And they CHOSE not to. All my memories after that were from my point of view, and I didn't blame myself for being naive, or gullible. That was my defense. I used that because that was what they accepted, when I was 7 years old. It's a shame that it led to so many more assaults.

 

[heidi]

So, my keyword list consists of my new set of beliefs, which I do believe firmly. I'm not trying to convince myself to skip any parts of understanding, I'm just trying to remind myself that I've been there... I understand... I know... He knows... etc. It's over. There's nothing left to analyze. I know the outcome of that circular thinking, and here it is.

Yeah, exactly. The brain wants to rethink things when there is nothing to work out anymore. I've already done it a million times. It took possibly a million times for me to see that it always l leads to the same result... terrible anguish.

Related to this is realizing that believing myself has to account for something. Why do I need others to believe me? I believe me. I need to stop needing them to believe.

 

[Muzikluvr]

I wonder if there are people in the world who trust themselves, believe themselves, and validate themselves? What would that feel like? There must be... confident people out there, who feel like they know themselves well enough to disagree with people who get angry with them or argue with them. People who don't become befuddled by someone's gas lighting, or by conflict. Maybe it all starts with believing oneself...

I convinced myself just 2 weeks ago, momentarily, that it was all a figment of my imagination, and I got carried away with accusing my family of hurting me. I pictured myself returning to my family, and them forgiving me and taking me back. Aaaghh! I felt my world start to flip upside down again, as this is an accurate image of what they propose I should do. They await me, with open arms, for the day I regain my senses. Then I reminded myself that I have proof of being raped. I have other proof too. Do you see the pain? JFC, why should I keep hurting myself this way? Not only did I find myself "seeking forgiveness" from people who hurt me, but then I had to see how they hurt me ALL OVER again.

Validation. Acceptance. Self-Assurance. Somehow, I need to build this in myself so I'm not seeking it from other people. People cannot give that to me all the time, or even just when I need it most... they're not available... they have their own lives.

 

[712xx]

I have a check list for everything.
Try to keep good exercise and nutrition everyday.
Appeal to my senses (especially nose and ears) to control stress level sensitivity.
Appeal to my engineer side and keep things methodological and neat.
Have goals, a familiar routine, in a familiar environment.

I would have here 'dedicated to proper sleeping routine' ... I was, but have fallen off it. Having a sleep routine does help, but I'm currently struggling with it.

This is just a summary; I can elaborate if you need more specifics.

 

[Zef]

Sometimes the basics can really help. . .proper sleep habits, exercise - even if it just a short walk, shoving B vitamins down your throat, taking your meds correctly, etc.

If you don't know the latest information on how best to do these things, do research.

If you have a hard time even remembering to do these things, remember 'baby steps'. It's OK to screw up, just keep pushing yourself in a healthier direction, as gently as you can and try to notice the positive differences that taking care of yourself makes when you are able to do it.

Don't expect quick and perfect results.

 

[Abrasky]

I generally find any life that comes about has been the result of tricking myself out of my PTSD. I am a magician.

For eg I have a PTSD where working brings on the PTSD. But my psychologist says that I tricked myself into working hard on my PTSD.

I have a thing about I can't work, but tricked myself into being a mum of a baby, without a 5 minute break for 6 months due to having a clause in my PTSD. The clause is that I can do things for surviving and the PTSD won't effect it. I also use this clause as a trick to manage my diabetes and insulin.

I trick myself by saying just take things a minute a time. I trick myself by talking to my inner personalities.(like "no one will attack you if you work") Once a time before I had PTSD, in order to be immune to violence at home once more, I would trick myself into adopting stronger personalities so I achieve things at school without feeling afraid of my father who had just attacked my previous personality mood. Which is probably not a good thing even though it is creative. I ended up getting a degree.

There are sometimes ways that my dad allowed me to do things, like work if I failed. So sometimes I use the trick that I can fail a bit while I work by not being perfect I can work. That is why I edit everything and make mistakes, it's how I trick myself into participating in a forum. It's good to look for tricks to go around the PTSD. They bring results.

 

[Hashi]

It has helped me that my two therapists (a counsellor and an energy healer) have always held a belief in me healing, whatever I was thinking myself.

The energy healer actually talks about my healed self - to me that means a future self that I'm moving towards but to him I think it also means some part of me in the present moment. Whichever it is, or both, I like the idea of the existence of this healed self. It motivates me because I want to be her (instead of being how I am now), and thinking of my healed self as an actual person makes it seem more possible.

I sometimes do a journal dialogue with my healed self and ask for her thoughts about something that I'm struggling with - because she's much wiser than me, lol.